Even Posh Spice has Bad Skin

I'm not talking badly about Victoria or anything. I copied her hair cut three years ago! But trust me, if anyone has the right to say that, it's definitely me; since age twelve my face looked like an unsightly Pro-Active before shot. It was unsexy, disgusting, and in order to not get even more depressed about it, only made me want to see myself in certain mirrors in which the lightening was really dim. By the time I reached fourteen years old, I did what many unfortunate middle school girls continue to do, and caked on ridiculous amounts of MAC Studio Fix foundation that made me look like I was a walking corpse (only with a lot of acne underneath that, yes, you could still see). The daily face makeup routine didn't help the solar system on my face and it only got worse when I started going to the dermatologist. Not to sound like my Papou or anything (translation: grandfather in Greek, for all of you who live in a bubble), but I'm still a believer after my poor experiences with several dermotologists that close to ninety percent of them are scam artists. Don't get me wrong; they've saved the lives of many melanoma and skin disorder patients and are probably a whole lot smarter then I'll ever be. However, not to sound like an old man Republican or anything, but it's all about the money, and a dermatologist's office is just like a business; they want to keep you coming back and having to deal with the specialist co-pays. Every single time I made it to a new doctor, I'd try a new salycic acid wash or a new peel or solution, only to end up with some weird reaction or new area of breakout on my face that would land me right back in the doctor's chair where I started. After dealing with so many different products throughout high school, I said peace out to the dermatologist and took hold of my skin on my own, experimenting with different products and procedures. Thankfully, I eventually grew out of wearing foundation every day, and with that, the severity of my acne. Even though I wasn't a pizza face anymore, I still broke out now and then and continue to deal with my skin being more sensitive then a teenage girl. But due to this unfortunate experience, I now have accumulated a perfect and very valuable list of effective skin products and procedures. Because even if you don't really care about a zit here or there, you have to remember that this is you're face, the first thing that people notice when they look at you (or you're back, neck, chest, errr...wherever else you get acne and I don't want to know about and/or discuss). Take care of it with the following and you'll be gladly rewarded with good-looking dates and a less expensive cosmetic regimen:

• Pro-Active Solution: The ultimate mother ship of acne products. I'll die in Pro-Active repairing lotion. For moderate acne problems, pro-active works great. Start using the whole three step system, but the trick is to use what works for you best (some people just use the cleanser, some just the cleanser and toner, etc). Plus, they'll refund you if it does nothing.
• Agua: Meaning water en espanol. DRINK LOTS OF THIS!!! You will notice a dramatic different in your skin if you start downing eight glasses a day as suggested by every commericial on television.
• Peter Thomas Roth Face Wash: An outstanding skin product for guys and girls. It's oil free and contains salycic acid but still moisturizes. I used to steal this stuff from my friend John Bierle in college all the time until I realized you could get it at Sephora.
• Differin Gel: Another product I used to steal from friends, but this time the friend being my room mate at the time and one of my best girlfriends in the world Noor Multani. Although this stuff is hard to come by, seeing as a perscription is needed and all, it only takes a very small application to be effective and is great at getting rid of that one under-the-skin mark over night. Plus, it's not too drying and won't make your face flakey like other perscriptions.
• Microdermabrasion: The savior of my skin. Usually performed by either an esthitician or dermatologist, microdermabrasion is a technique that literally sandblasts your skin to give you a fresh start with it afterwards. Although expensive (it can run you close to $150 a session), this technique is nearly a guarentee, but the trick is to make sure that you complete the recommended series of sessions. Plus, you get a facial after each session so you get to feel rich afterwards (and in my case, broke).
• White Toothpaste: A trick that every pageant girl knows. Have a tasty one that won't go away? Dab a drop of white toothpaste on the center of your blemish before you go to sleep and wake up the next morning with it barely there. Make sure you use only white toothpaste (Arm & Hammer and Gleem work the best).
• Tanning: I know that your doctor, dermatologist, and Seventeen magazine have probably told you that this is a myth, but go try it out for yourself and realize its not. Although I'm sure I'm going to have to end up getting Botox by the time I'm thirty for doing this so many times, going to the tanning salon will burn off those bad pimples and give you a fresh start. Plus, you'll have a new and exotic color that will make you appear as though you were somewhere expensive on vacation. 

 I may not be the next Rodan & Fields, but I do know a thing or two about skin care. So drink your water and Pro-Activate this week, and even though the commercial says otherwise, no, you cannot sleep in your Bare Minerals powder...