Tonight's Not Gonna Be a Good Night

Have you ever heard of a culling song? I just finished reading "Lullaby" by Chuck Palahniuk, and for those of you who are unfamiliar with this idea, it's a song or a spoken phrase that kills whoever hears it. Considered some type of curse derived from Santeria and Voodoo cultures in the Caribbean, there is a song recently that has been closest to a culling for me. Despite its upbeat-ness and its insinuation that someone's going to be getting lucky tonight, The Fergalicious Band (known more commonly as the Black Eyed Peas), have a new single that honestly curses my night whenever I hear it played. "I Got a Feeling", for those of you who live in a cave and haven't heard it, has a catchy, feel-good chorus chanting over and over again that "tonight's gonna be a good night", giving off the vibe that you're about to partake in a drunken make out scene in either Laguna Beach or Dawson's Creek. Despite it sounded like the trailer for a coming-of-age series with a good-looking cast, this song has done nothing but bring back luck to all of the times in which I have heard it. I'm writing this entry to warn guys and girls everywhere about its negative power and to also give you some examples of what manifested after hearing the song:

1. On a Match.com date: And I RARELY go on these, might I add, but the first time I heard this song was at the beginning of the night of meeting my Internet lover for the first time. Without giving out too many specifics and revealing his identity, the lyrics gave me a sense of excitement thinking that I had just met my prince charming. Didn't happen. His poor table manners and his putting on a windbreaker when it started to become rainy killed it all.
2. At my ex-boyfriend's sister's wedding: In which he got so drunk that he began hitting on a 45-year-old MILF, in which she responded by telling him she wanted to lick him like a lollipop. After a screaming match next to the buffet line, we've moved on since that shitteous evening.
3. When a homeless man followed me down 14th street: When I was just trying to meet up with my friends at Lima! Resembling the guy who does the "Rack 'Em" skits on YouTube, he followed me from L all the way to K asking me to buy him a dollar menu item, even though I had no cash on me. And then proceeded to yell at me about his brother would do disparaging things (that I can't post on here in detail in case my mom decides to read this) to me if I didn't give him money. Scary.
4. Before being rejected from Currents: I must have looked pretty fugly that night. I go to this club every week almost and they just weren't feeling my presence, even after I walked to the front of the rope and began screaming at a bouncer, was told the club was full. I then was forced to go to a lesser club with one of my girlfriends and be her wing-girl, and with that, spent the night dancing with a rancid guy.
5. When my friend's "boyfriend" showed up at the bar with another girl: And I had to let him know that I had heard so many good things about him...when he was her boyfriend. This comment took him by surprise and I think lead to their breakup later that evening. Yes, I heard this song in the car on the way out that night, too.

With "I Got a Feeling" being one of the Top 5 songs on America's Top 40 (no, I don't listen to that, come on people. I googled it.), I'm sure that this song has many more mishaps in store for me soon. Have any of you had equally mortifying experiences after hearing it? Maybe it's just me, but if not, comment and let me know!

<3,

Angela