'Mahalo' does not mean 'trashcan', and other words of wisdom from Hawaii

Growing up at the beach in Rhode Island, it was always my DREAM to go to Hawaii. I think I secretly wanted to be Kate Bosworth from Blue Crush (regardless of the fact that I’ll never be that skinny even if I decided to be bulimic for the week) and fall in love with a pro-athlete in the middle of the Maui swells… Fast forward ten years, and I ended up in Hawaii, but not as a pro-surfer; for my job, staying in way nicer hotels than Bosworth’s beach shack, hanging with some of my boyfriend’s childhood friends (as I was in his native stomping grounds), and enjoying some of the best sushi I’ve ever had in my life.


But I will be honest; Hawaii is NOT like the rest of the main land. When I landed, got my Jeep Wrangler from Hertz, and cruised off to my hotel after traveling for twenty hours, realized that life on O’ahu was closer to a Samoan beach movie than my Chinatown, DC neighborhood. And after making it to two additional Hawaiian Islands (minus Kau’ai, which stinks, because I heard it’s beautiful plus the surfer girl who got her arm bit off by the shark is from there), I got tan, leid (not ‘laid’), and did some pretty good business for my job as well. And, despite the fact that ‘mahalo’ is printed on every trash can in Waikiki, learned that this native Hawaiian word does NOT mean trash, but rather “thank you”. Here are some other tidbits from my Hawaii travels:

• Take Alaska Airlines, hands down. It’s reasonable to fly, the planes are gorg, and even if you’re a plebe in Coach like I was, there are great Hawaiian style entres that they serve for dinner. Plus, when you land, they serve complimentary Mai Tais...
• Pretend you’re Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife (every middle aged white woman looks like her in O’ahu), tan up, wear a bikini too small for you, and bake on Waikiki Beach for the day. You’ll see some characters, be inspired to surf, and feel like the traditional Hawaiian tourist.

• Drink POG (pomegranate-orange-guava) juice. Although I’m unsure actually how much juice is really in it, this sugary concoction is served for free on Hawaiian Airlines and can be found pretty much anywhere on the islands.

• Get into Hawaiian reggae, because you’ll pretty much hear it everywhere you go. I didn’t take the radio off of Island 98.5 during my last trip, and am now totally obsessed with J Boog, Kolohekai, The Green, and Maoli…

• The Big Island is not what you think. Yes, there’s a volcano, cool, but not too many actual beaches… and while there are some beautiful towns between Kona and Hilo, a lot of what you’ll see on this island is a time warp, as a lot of the buildings haven’t been updated since before Hawaii’s statehood…cuidado.

• MAUI IS PARADISE. ENOUGH SAID (but, literally everything there looks like it’s out of a Sandals commercial… AKA lots of cheesy white people looking to be romantical somewhere exotic).

• Go zip-lining. I was there for work and unfortunately couldn’t, so please do it in lieu of my ability to.

• Stay away from the Italian food. Save your cravings for your next trip to NYC. Hawaii is NOT the place to mangia.

The consensus? I already have a flight booked back July 7th.