Will You Be My Valentine?

It's Valentine's Day and you know what that means; whether you're celebrating over chocolates and candy necklace underwear with your boo, going to an anti-Valentine's party and making a voodoo doll of your ex, or just going to town on a bottle of wine with girlfriends, having a plan is always key when trying to make this so-called "Hallmark" holiday actually worth your time. With the big day falling on a Sunday, there's no excuse in forgetting to show your someone that extra love (or extra skin- if you weren't like me and didn't spend the entire Snowmaggedeon eating Cheetos and now don't fit into your work clothes properly) that I'm sure they deserve for putting up with your shenanigans all year. Whether you're on a budget because of "tough times" (which seems to be the excuse for everyone being anti-social these days) or ready to ball out big, below are a list of some practical suggestions that will make your Valentine's Day in DC extra special. Single and mad that my suggestions are all couples-oriented? Get over it; Today is not about you.

• Surprise him and take him to the place where you first met. Was it in the lobby of the Ritz? A local  bar? An Anacostia soup kitchen? The DMV? The possibilities are endless. Take him back for some reminiscing. 
• Create a collage for him of all of you're favorite times together. Include pictures from the entire duration of your relationship. But make sure it isn't any smaller then 15 by 20, so that way he'll be forced to hang it somewhere visible and every single girl who parties at his house will know that they better stay away.
• Before all of the snow melts, suggest the two of you build a snowman. Only get the snow from the area where your car is stuck on Wisconsin, and build the man with that. And don't do any heavy lifting. So, really, he's just helping you with your car.
• Have some SEX! Sold by the L. Mawby Winery in Michigan, this excellent bottle is a light sparkling rose combined with Pinot Gris grapes, and perfect for Valentine's Day. Marketed by Leopard supporter and DC sommelier Andrew Stover, crack open a bottle at the W Hotel, Sei Restaurant and Lounge, or The Reserve. Price? $69, of course.
• Be a live naked sushi girl like Samantha did in the Sex and the City movie. But instead, buy all of the grossest, most offensive sushis possible, like sea urchin, octopus, and squid. Layer your body with these pieces of sashimi and have fun hazing your boyfriend while he feels forced to eat the rancidness.
• Take him to see "Grease" at the National Theater. You know he'll love you for that, especially because it's starring the American Idol phenomenon Taylor Hicks.
• Want to get adventurous? Check out Terrapin Adventures in Savage, Maryland, where they're having specials for couples on ziplining. For $60 per couple, you can zipline through the woods several stories up high for up to two hours and be greeted with some great hot chocolate afterwards. Keep away from any heavy drinking the night before. (Call 301-725-1313 for reservations)
• Hit up the Russia House for one of the city's most exclusive Valentine's Day parties. Wear your finest fur, pretend you're super rich, and dress up like you're going to a party out of The Great Gatsby. So romantic.
• Trying to have an educational holiday? The National Museum of the American Indian is hosting an exhibit for the day on the history of cacao, or chocolate. Learn about the history of chocolate and its importance in Native American culture and get to try different kinds while you're learning.
• Okay, so I'll conclude with one for the single girl... Best anti-Valentine's event? Nothing better than Bar Louie in Chinatown; if you bring a picture of your ex and shred it in public, you'll get drink specials for the entire evening. Not a bad deal. 

Hope all of your Valentine's Days are filled with lots of love and cheesiness, of course. And if your car is still stuck in the snow, I hope you can finagle a "romantic" way for him to get it out for you.

DC Finally Meets RI: PAULY D LIVE AT SHADOWROOM TONIGHT!!

There are very few things in this world- and people, for that matter- that are the perfect combination of Rhode Island and DC. The few I can think of off the top of my head? Congressman Patrick Kennedy (who recently announced his not seeking reelection, sadly enough) and myself. But tonight, that list will expand threefold, when Pauly Delvecchio, of Johnston, RI, and Jersey Shore, will make his debut spinning the 1s and 2s at Shadow Room. Although tickets are selling at a rapid rate so that everyone can get a first hand account of a true Rhode Island guido, I'm sure your chances of getting in and seeing Pauly spin won't be so bad after all. Fully equipped with his blowout, Italian flag-embossed mixer, and headphones bearing his name in jewels, get ready to rock your finest Ed Hardy and Movado watch, and be sure to pull up to valet in a Cadillac if you own one.
Establishing himself in Johnston, RI, Pauly D has gone on to DJ all of the "finest Rhode Island hot spots" (whatever those are) for the past five plus years. With a consistent resume of clubs like Pearl, Monet Lounge, and Red Room under his belt, MTV has now allowed Pauly D to take the national stage, and with that, spread his guido love and "Cadillac" rib cage tattoo all the way to the nation's capital.
Get ready for bangin' house music, free-flowing Jaeger bombs, and raging fist pumps all night long at Shadow Room tonight.

Rihanna Can Be Rude Whenever She Wants!!

Rihanna, I was definitely over you for a little while there. I'm not going to take it away from you; you're totally hot and never on my best day will I look as good as you do on your worst. But, come on girlfriend, you're done proving to the world that you're edgy. We've got it. The tattoos? The nipple rings? The neon orange jeans and bleached out fohawk? I promise I'll never confuse your style with Reese Witherspoon's. Now can we just wear a nice pair of designer jeans and Christian Louboutains and call a truce?
Yes, I defintely think Rihanna's edgey look is a little bit over done, but she's also a great performer with a well-sculpted body who isn't afraid to be different. More applaudingly, she nipped her domestic violence spiel with Chris Brown in the butt immediately and dealt with it under the public eye without undertaking any known drug addictions or Scientology-like religions in the process. So, for that, I commend Rihanna, and as a personal fan of reggae and dancehall, love the fact that she combines sugary Britney pop beats with dancehall tracks as tough as any of Beenie Man's. Would I jump to the record store to buy any of her cds? TRICK QUESTION: I don't buy cds, I'm a 2010 girl who relies solely on her iTouch. But if I were to go out and buy something to bump in my whip (translation=my sorority mobile AKA the white Jetta covered in snow and God knows what else right now at the BWI Long Term A parking lot), it would definitely be Rihanna's new single, Rude Boy. And it's not even because I'm crazy about the song; it's the music video that genre-bending, cartoony, and all around deliciousness for the eyes to watch.
Shot in cartoon clips, Rihanna's lifelike body is posed against Rasta-themed animation in the background, along with sequences of her banging on a drumset resembling one that would belong to the late Peter Tosh and grinding on an antique motorcycle. While all of this is happening, psycadelic colors reminiscent of Rasta-culture blast the screen and bring me right back to my college spring break in Negril. Really, it's not that deep so I'd rather stop explaining, but nevertheless probably the best music video I've seen in some time. Which is making the song grow on me a bit, too. And maybe that stupid tattoo Rihanna has on her left hand.

Cupcakes on TV?

Unless you're an Amish person living in DC (which I don't think even exists) or part of some sort of odd religion against modern day technology, you've obviously heard of, tried, to was persuaded to go to some sort of event based on the fact that Georgetown Cupcakes would be pressent. Featured everywhere from InStyle Magazine to the Martha Stewart show, the Georgetown Cupcake sisters, Katherine Kallanis and Sophia LaMontagne, have taken DC and the country by storm since their February 2008 debut of arguably the most notable "cupcakery" in the capital. With daily delights ranging from Red Velvet to Chocolate and Vanilla for a mere $3.75 a pop, Georgetown cupcake is sure to brighten your day, widen your thighs, and serve as an excellent treat in nursing the hangover post-scrubby brunch at Peacock Cafe.
Of course, people other than myself have seen the greatness of the cupcakes, as the store recently relocated from its tiny front on Prospect Street to a grandoise piece of real estate on the corner of 33rd and M as its flagship store, along with a second cupcakery just recently appearing on Bethesda Row. Never thought cupcakes could be so lucrative, did you?
Well, the cupcake story gets a little bit jucier, as I have just learned that the Real Housewives of DC and the Real World just didn't give the city its full fix of reality television, with a reality show said to be begin filming shortly about the drama with, what I'm assuming to be, the frosting, aprons, and everything in between that makes Georgetown Cupcake such a powerhouse. Rumored to be on either TLC or Bravo, the show will feature the two sisters along with the notorious Georgetown Cupcake delivery-embossed Range Rovers (and, I'm sure, the even more notorious blonde boys you see delivering them every day. Puh-leez, like you haven't noticed them..) making cupcakes and doing what they do best. Think it'll be a hit? Considering some of these reality shows actually made the air, I think the sisters should get ready to accept an Emmy:

• I Love New York: Flavor of Love? How could you not resist a man wearing a clock around his neck and making out with girls half his age? But after Tiffany Polland, and her ever-inflating breast implants, decided to take over reality television, I got a little bit naucious watching the herpes transpire through the house which they all lived in.
• Britney and Kevin "Chaotic": One of the many reasons that this classic marriage ended. Britney shot herself from angles which she shouldn't have with her Cheeto-embossed fingers and we got to see Kevin talk about sexual escapades in his Tall Tees. Basically, it shows why Sean Preston and Jayden don't have a shot.
• Temptation Island: AWFUL! A recipe for cheating and a disaster. I've never subjected myself to watching this, but have heard awful things. Taking marriages that are on the brink of suvival and trying to salvage them on reality tv? NOT a good idea!
• My Fair Brady: You're career ended, sorry. Now don't push it.
• Double Shot at Love: Because Tila Tequila wasn't enough. Instead, we needed a set of "bisexual" twins to create a twisted dating world of menage a trois relationships that make parents afraid to let their children have any access to a remote control.

Regardless of the outcome with DC's new reality television stint, keep enjoying Georgetown Cupcake's delicious treats. And stay far away from poor reality television programming. Except for Millionaire Matchmaker, of course.

Real Housewives of DC: Will Tables be Flipping?

From beautiful Orange County California to soulful Hotlanta- and you can't forget my personal favorite, guido-licious New Jersey- many of the bourgeoise communities of the United States have fed into Bravo's enterprise of the Real Housewives' Series, and for the last couple years, Americans everywhere have enthralled themselves watching tables flipped, weaves nearly wripped (thank you, Kim Zolciak), and golddigging from every angle you could think of (Having sex with a man known as 'Big Daddy' for a new wig every day? Pleasuring someone your grandfather's age for a five carrot diamond? No bueno, but super entertaining). Even if some may label the franchise as a type of scum television of sorts, I'm not going to play around and pretend that I'm not super excited that they're filming the Real Housewives in DC right now. With recent filming at Cafe Bonaparte, a set of five main characters have been solidified along with enough Tibi dresses and Balenciaga bags that would match up as stiff competition against of any of Capitol Hill's biggest socialites (by DC standards, that is... let's be honest...). But are Washingtonians really ready to give heed to reality television, and with that, a show that exposes aspects of life that are a little bit more substantial than getting drunk at Rhino Bar all the time? Something in me says that the ugly New York just really isn't. But you never know, we would get another Theresa Giudice with these give women under one roof together:

1. Michaele Salahi: The hot-but also seemingly psyco- blonde bombshell and co-owner of the Oasis Winery in Warren County, Virginia  and president of the America's Polo Cup will definitely be a problem on the DC rendition, seeing how her and her not-so-hot husband were the infamous White House crashers back in October. Regularly visiting Cafe Milano and a regular at Polo matches, Salahi adds the perfect socialite spice to the mix that most Congressional wives wouldn't even dream to show. Even better, her infamous actions are rumored to be the finale for Season One!
2. Mary Amons: The (relatively) down-to-Earth MILFy mother of five from McLean will serve as the character that Bravo will try to make us relate to. But, because most of us don't live in a 4.5 million dollar home, this founder of the District Sample Sale has one of the most envious closets you've ever seen. But I must give her credit; unlike some of the other laughable housewives, Amons honorably established Labels of Love, a conseignment charity that donates thousands a year to women's and children's causes.

3. Lynda Erkiletian: Absolutely FABULOUS and could be my favorite. Although older, Erkiletian stays away from the conservative, prepster image that every single one of my Georgetown neighbors strives to look like, and pulls off a trendy look without looking like she's dressing out of her sixteen year old daughter's closet a la Orange County's Lynne Curtain. Founder of THE Artist Agency, a DC based modeling agency, she's sure to mix things up, and in the best of ways.
4. Mai Abdo: Hellll yeaaa to the first Asian housewife! Though she might be a little bit too yuppie for my liking, she's the wife of commericial developer Jim Abdo and is present at every single gala and charity event that the city has to offer. Plus, her multiple properties will add that Lifestyles of the Rich and Fabulous class that makes even watching this show on mute fun sometimes.
5. Lisa Spies: Supposedly a fame-seeker and loving to be behind the camera, she's the wife of (vomit) Republican fundraiser Charles Spies. Her political connections are sure to get some juicy subplots to showcase the political side of things. Although I haven't been able to find out a ton about her, she sounds like the typical Capitol Hill politico power woman.

After trying to sneak into filming at Bonaparte to get the real deal on the cast but realizing that I had to be at work in a half hour, I'm pretty excited to see what Bravo has in store for us with these DC powerhouses. Will they have the sexy mom appeal of Gretchen Rossi or the gui-tasticness of Jacqueline Laurita? I don't think we'll be seeing any of these women getting Botox or throwing over the dinner table at Peacock Cafe (on camera, at least). But I'm really excited, and you never know just who will finagle their way into an episode...

Pandora? Ew.

My beautiful ten year old cousin had a direct request for her birthday this year; either a stand-up Michael Jackson cardboard image from his Billie Jean music video, or a new charm for her beloved Pandora bracelet. Having a huge problem with the first for obvious reasons (sorry I don't want a montage of MJ watching my child cousin going to bed every night), I decided to go with the latter and began exploring every little giftshop in DC to find Melina a unique charm that would make her birthday special. Apparently, the wonderful world of Pandora has yet to take DC by storm, since every sales person asked my why I didn't want to get my little cousin a Juicy Couture charm bracelet, which I wouldn't have minded at all but it wasn't her request, but did mind when they referred my to a nauciating Vera Bradley bracelet that made me feel like I was back on Cape Cod (for those of you who don't know, Vera Bradley is against everything I stand for and is entire against my religion. AKA=vom). When my mother assured me that I would have no issue finding Pandora in Rhode Island, I decided to wait until I arrived in my hometown inside of dealing with the awful world of online ordering.
I first thought that these braclets would be blue and resembled something primitive of the Na'vi, with all of the world bananas for Avatar right now and with Pandora being the name of the alien's secret world. However, I was incredibly taken aback when my mother took me to an adorable little giftshop in Cumberland, Rhode Island and introduced me to a line of cord bracelets only to be filled with dainty charms ranging from $25-$100 in price. Established in Norway, Pandora has already gained relative popularity in northern Europe and Australia, and in my opinion, is the perfect keep sake for a small child. I was greatly mistaken when my pleasent gift shop was all of a sudden traumatized by the pressence of WASP-y, Lily Putlizer wearing women who scoffed at my fake UGG boots (Who cares? They're UGGS!), and who actually began oogling the "chahhms" that I thought were supposed to be geared towards the same demographic who bought American Girl dolls. Hearing Sheilah ask Karen if she should get the frog or the golf ball charm, I sadly thought, what in the world is fashion coming to?
Of course, charm bracelets for children, even teenagers, are totally okay in my opinion, and in fact, are encouraged. They're youthful, fun, and inspire a positive channel of self expression in the form of a special keepsake that will forever remind that person of their childhood. But as a status symbol and a means to brag when you're already on your second bracelet? For the $500 to $700 it takes on average to complete an entire cord, invest in a timeless David Yurman cuff or Judith Ripka bracelet that looks classy, and more importantly, your age! There's nothing sexy about a thirty-something professional woman clanking her charm-embellished wrist at the office of charms, which no offense to Pandora, aren't even that cute.
The tip of the iceberg after seeing these yuppie moms at the gift shop in Rhode Island? After chuckling to myself at the women's enthusiasm, I asked the salesman why these bracelets have yet to be popular in Washington, DC. Apparently, "they haven't made their way out West yet". Oh, Rhode Island.

Winterwonderland in DC

While I'm stuck in Rhode Island not being able to breath through my nostrils and watching repeats of The Office, DC has been blessed with a series of snowstorms this past weekend, forcing the city to shut down to its lack of snow plows, and better yet, forcing DC-resident workers to have an excuse to sleep in during the mornings. Only witnessing one snow storm in DC during my five year reign there, it may have well been Armageddeon. Streets were closed, people randomly parked their cars wherever they chose, and Pacific Islander Georgetown students were running around in the snow with looks in their eyes that they had just seen Jesus Christ in the flesh for the first time. Love it or think its ridicoulas, DC snow storms are an excuse to be lazy and act like a child until it all melts. Whether you're like my roommate Christina who calls everyone in her iPhone to go sledding the moment a flake of snow falls from the sky, or myself who becomes every more of a lazy bones than I already am when it comes to sleep, it's always a rare and often fun occassion. So while you're all playing hooky from work and school tomorrow while im recovering in the 401, here are some great suggestions and ways that I'm vicariously going to be living through all of you sexy snowbunnies:

• Have an exboyfriend who's bothering you? Play a little bit of dingdong ditch on him. Show up at his apartment, ring the doorbell, and surprise him with a snowball to his face. Bonus points if you get the new man in your life to go with you.
• Check out the National Gallery of Art Ice Skating Rink. You can rent your skates there, it's cheap, and if you're anything like me, there's a huge wall to hold on to if you're a novice at the sport.
• Stay in and order the entire series of Summer Heighs High on HBO. With Chris Lily's amazing dabble at three different characters in a public school in Austalia, you'll have a whole new slew of inside jokes and obnoxious lines to quote by the end of the day.
• Walk to the local Walgreens or whatever, buy funfetti cupcake mix, and go on a baking binge for the day. When you're finished, be bulbous and eat the entire batch by yourself.
• Call up my roommate Christina and I and come sledding with us! We live on an awesome hill that will definitey guarentee you a good time and a few broken bones by the time you're done.
• Head to McHenry, Marland for the day and hit up the trails at Wisp Mountain. You can rent your own skis and snowboards there without breaking the bank, too.
• Build a snowman but create a sort of political twist to it. Barack Obama? George Washington? John Edwards? With the right accessories and ideas, the possibilites are endless.

Goodluck being snowed in, kids. Enjoy your day or two off!