White Water Tubing, Anyone?

I always like trying new things, but this Saturday, I really went above and beyond. After being coaxed into a Saturday afternoon activity with all of my colleagues, I never knew that River Rapids, a tubing facility on the river on Harper's Ferry, West Virginia, would totally kill my body this bad and twist my shoulder worse than you'd ever imagine. But while I opted out on the camping experience that everyone else participated in afterwards (I'm sorry, camping's just not my thing), I got my full three hundred sixty degree experience of Mother Nature on the Shenandoah. And while most people forget that an hour outside of DC is pickup trucks and Confederate Flag tattoos, I got to witness all of this and even got to take home algae in my bathing suit bottoms as a souvenir being the one person in our group that fell off of their inner tube.
The logistics? For $50, you too can rent an inner tube and be school bussed off to the mouth of the Shenandoah. But don't expect a lazy river experience; Though you'll have a tube with you filled with booze and snacks, you'll also make your way through white water rapids and see some of the local wildlife (thank God I was three cocktails deep when I saw the garden snake), but be prepared, because I was well over it after only about one hour of the four. Some fun memories from my day in West Virginia?

• My general all-around anxiety upon crossing over onto the West Virginia state lines. I'm sorry if you're from there, and I've only been on one other occasion, but the state is just not for me. Period. But the mountains are really pretty to look at, FYI. 
• The fact that I was told we were required to wear footwear with our bathing suits last minute, and the only appropriate ones I had (after my idea of Grecian sandals was nixed) were my eleventh grade Hendricken Hawks white cheerleading sneakers. Man, did I look sexy!
• When I got lost from the group at one point, was tubing at a rapid speed over rocks, and a garden snake leaped out of the water and hissed at my in front of my face. Upon shrieking, a nice woman in Teva sandals told me "to relax, they're friendly animals". Whatevs. 
• The fact that I decided to breast stroke kick on my tube while laying on my stomach. All with white sneakers on, I might add. 
• The great picnic we all had on a dirt patch next to some rock. We figured that we were almost done so decided to have some treats to celebrate out survival. Little did we know that the halfway point was only up in front of us. 
• Everyone told me to bring alcohol. Instead, I brought one bottle of Malibu. So, out of desperation, much of the tubing down the river consisted of people passing off the handle to one another. Needless to say, the boys weren't very happy. 
• When I went home to shower, there was a maple leaf stuck to my bum. TMI, I know, but it goes to show you how truly one with nature you are when you decide to white water tube. 

Though I don't think I'll be partaking in this again anytime soon, it was definitely a fun experience. For an hour and a half, that is. 

Check out River Riders, the tubing company in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia, at www.riverriders.com. Packages for tubing start at $50 a person. 

The Conference Room

This past Saturday night, after laying around and staring at the wall all afternoon after a long night the evening before, two of my favorite people in the world dragged me for an evening that brought me to one of DC’s latest hot spots that has yet to be unveiled in the social circuit throughout DC. After enjoying cocktails and sushi in the lounge at Oya (which I hope that my entire home looks like one day, just as an FYI), a group of us went to The Donovan House in Dupont Circle, one of the trendiest hotels in the city with a delicious restaurant in the lobby (ZenTen) and a great rooftop pool and bar area. But having just has a Kertain Brazilian treatment straightener in my hair only two days prior and a downpour of rain starting to ruin the party on the roof, a manager took us downstairs to an amazing venue that has yet to blow up in DC; Renovating a posh white-on-white banquet space into an intimate lounge with a house DJ and bar-and, of course, a very big bouncer keeping the overly inebriated people out at the door- I was in for a treat in this new space that kept my hair dry and my body hydrated with champagne.

Naturally named “The Conference Room”, this second floor lounge on the second floor of the Donovan House is small, edgy, and European in demeanor (which means I love it, because I love anywhere that makes me feel like I’m in Europe for even five seconds) is filled with chaise lounges that still allow you to fist-pump without the full-fledged dance floor of a nightclub. And if you’re not into DeadMau5 or Tiesto, get out quick; this place is definitely a house music haven. But with excellent bottle specials, an intimate setting, and a more low-key vibe for a Saturday night when you’d like to relax but still be social, throw on a Sky dress and enjoy The Conference Room, the Donovan House’s new upscale lounge on the second floor. And, you won’t have to worry about getting pushed into the rooftop pool after too many shots of Patron.

Leaked Gaga!

Lady Gaga paints the town leopard.

Since Perez is best friends with her and wants to make sure that her new album doesn't make its big reveal before its due date in early 2011, I've taken it upon myself to go on You Tube to listen to all of the amazing Lady Gaga tracks for her new, untitled album. Though you can only listen to them on YouTube.com, entertain yourself at work this week and get into the new Gagalicious-ness.

• "Then You'd Love Me" It reminds me of Cascada meets Ace of Base, and brings me to a Prague nightclub every time I listen to it. Definitely single-worthy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp9-npU0Cto
• "Blueberry Kisses" A little bit of ska combined by Squirrel Nut Zippers nuevo-swing and piano rock 'n' roll. Amazing and definitely a different sound then we're used to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIN6bksdufs
• "Glitter and Grease" It reminds me of a Britney track. Not my favorite, but I think it has the potential to be a single for sure. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcODCcLkhzI&feature=related
• "Put Your Paws Up" Super futuristic and one of the musical interludes on The Monster Ball tour. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_2c0TGaOPE&feature=related
• "Ribbons" Who knew safe sex could be so adorable? Probably my favorite track, in which Gaga raps, and encourages boys to "wrap their presents up in pretty, pretty ribbons". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_2c0TGaOPE&feature=related
• "Changing Skies" Also very futuristic. I'm not entirely crazy about it, but it might catch on with me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnkmDpp0j-Y
• "Second Time Around" Very traditional and poppy. I'm not sure whether it's a B-track or going on the new album, but it's nevertheless good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8c7PZqLobg&feature=related
• "You and I" A rock 'n' roll ballad that she's been performing live at her concerts. Definitely an instant classic, and very Elton John-y. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSFMppdYwJc

I figured everyone would want to enjoy these masterpieces as much as I've been. Just be sure to wrap it up in pretty ribbons. 

Jersey Shore 2 Party at Velocity 5 Tonight!

Tonight’s the night we’ve all been waiting for. And if you’re too last minute like me to plan an actual Jersey Shore party, complete with Jagerbombs and zaples for dessert, go over the bridge (and don’t get totally nauseated in the process) to Arlington and celebrate in guido style at Velocity 5. Tonight, they’re hosting a Jersey Shore Season 2 viewing party, complete with drink specials, excellent appetizers, and Red Rope Production’s very own Jimmy Abernathy bringing in the sexiest crowd that he can round up. Leave the loafers at home and drink your protein today; if you’re not juiced up, you can just fuggedaboutit.

And as classic works of literature often have discussion questions within the epilogue, I’ve provided a few great ones for tonight’s episode that you and your fellow Jersey Shore fans can have over a nice chicken marsala and bottle of Pinot Grigio:

• Who will JWoww get in her first fight with this season and why?

• Which one of the male castmates be most likely to be arrested by the Miami City Police?

• How many pickles will Snookie eat in the duration of the entire season?

• Will Ronnie and Sammi “Sweethahhht” end up back together in the end?

• Will Angelina finally have purchased herself a set of luggage with one of her appearance paychecks so she doesn’t have to show up carrying trash bags again?

• Who will be the protagonist in this season’s house?
• Will Pauly D continue to give shoutouts to Rhode Island? (He better)

And while the season will end quicker that you can say Volare, you can be sure that they’ll make some kind of live appearance in the District in the coming months. So, ladies, who’s going to be the first to make out with The Situation?


Join me at Velocity 5, 8111 Lee Highway in Falls Church, VA tonight for the Jersey Shore Season 2 kick-off party!

Hottest Gays on Earth

Tom Ford and Marc Jacobs, two of the
hottest gay men on Earth, take the red carpet.

He’s just not that into you. But, this time, it’s not because you texted him five times in a row psychotically, hooked up with his best friend, or ate too many Georgetown cupcakes and now look like a beached whale. Probably the biggest disappointment for a Washingtonienne these days is when she’s working out at Vida, finds the most attractive stud she’s ever seen in her life, but then sees him leaving Cobalt arm and arm with a man that weekend. Whether you live in Dupont Circle or not, DC can truly be one, giant gay-borhood that may put a damper on your self-esteem as a female if you’re not careful. Yes, ladies, there are countless men out there who are gorgeous, professional, well-dressed and have more money than God, but be careful; In DC, if they are too good to be true, they very well may just be too good for women. Aside from DC’s usual spread of gorgeous gay men in the social scene who I refuse to name drop here with the fear of inflating their egos even larger than they already are (though I love every damn second of it), below is my list of “Oh-my-gawd, I wish they were straight”’s:


1. Ricky Martin: I cried on the day that he came out, in joy and sorrow. Of course, I’m thrilled he’s comfortable with his sexuality, but COME ON! He’s Latin AND he can shake his bon-bon? Plus, he has the two cutest twin sons in the world. I SO will be his next surrogate if he needs one, FYI.

2. Rupert Everett: I love his British accent, think he’s a phenomenal actor, and he makes me totally LMAO. Though slightly lanky for me, Rupert’s rocking the hot Londontown look to no avail.

3. Tim Gunn: He’s totally old, but the suit? The voice? The fashion forward-ness? I think he’d not only be a great family man, but would function as a superb personal shopper, gym buddy, and would peer pressure Heidi Klum into being my new BFF. And that’s fabulous.

4. Tom Ford: HAVE YOU SEEN PICTURES OF HIM?!?! Even though he’s probably a cocky fashion designer, his tall, dark, and handsome look mixed with his over-the-top fashion sense make him the perfect arm candy.

5. Marc Jacobs: On the note of Tom Ford, I’ve always had a secret thing for this designer, too. Though I’ll never grow to accept the Scottish kilt, those things can be changed. He’s handsome, apparently a huge partier, and, I would forever have access to a killer MJ wardrobe for the rest of my life.

6. Lance Bass: My childhood crush. Though he’s a little too flamboyant for me now, he was definitely one of the hottest N Syncers, in my opinion. And, he made a cameo in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, which means he has a sense of humor about it all in the meantime.


Ladies, continue rocking it. Go out there and meet everyone you can, make new friends, and have great conversation. But keep in mind you live in Washington, DC; one of the gayest cities on Earth. And while I consider that to be a very good thing, don’t get down on yourselves, girls. The hot, straight ones are out there… somewhere. JK.

DMV took over Miss Teen USA!

Kamie Crawford, Miss Teen USA 2010

Okay, so I know that she’s not exactly from DC, but Potomac, Maryland is close enough (and really rich too, FYI). And on July 24th, seventeen-year-old Kamie Crawford, from the 90210 of Maryland, totally achieved my childhood dream and was crowned Miss Teen USA 2010 via webcast. The gorgeous half-Black\half-Irish contestant won the pageant with flying colors in a gorgeous, Rhode Island-esque prom style fuschia evening gown, and picked up a national title in only her SECOND pageant to compete in ever (her first was the Miss Teen Maryland Pageant that brought her to the Teen USA stage). Even better than her flawless track record? The fact that she beat out all of the scary former Toddlers in Tiara-esque teen queens from Texas and Kentucky after they’d been working hard since they were two years old.

Plus, let’s be real; she’s biracial, an honor roll student, fluent in three languages, and from the DCMV area- how could I not freak out at the fact that she got the crown? And though I generously support Erika Wright, Rhode Island’s contestant, I’m in my glory to see that Donald Trump’s judges have selected a very diverse set of queens for the Miss Universe System, as Crawford will be living in the New York City penthouse alongside my other top pick for the USA title, Arab-American Rima Fakih. Now let’s just hope that the Miss Universe judges pick Miss Greece for August’s pageant in Las Vegas, and then all of my pageant dreams will really come full circle. Stay tuned.

The Washington Kastles Celebrate Ana Kournikova's B-Day at PINGPONG

Chelsea Foushezaney and her guests make their way to the
St. Germain-sponsored open bar at Ping Pong on 7/21/10.

However Ana did not show up. Nor did I know if it was actually even her birthday (thanks to a friend of mine and Wikipedia, I found out that it was actually June 7th. Extremely belated, perhaps?). Nevertheless, this OUTSTANDING party that followed the Best Of Washington Restaurant Event at the National Building Museum last Wednesday night required an entire weekend of recuperation, and it was well worth it. With Ping Pong afficionado Myca Ferrar being the choosey concierge for the evening, PPDS had a surprisingly fun and chic crowd for the event, especially at a place so new to DC, and more impressively, not even on the map in terms of the nightlife circuit. Coming with about fifteen friends, we each had an amazing experience that made are stomachs hurt all day on Thursday at work.
Plus, anywhere that has St. Germain (an elderflower liquer from Paris that I would honestly inject into my veins if I could, that's how delicious it is) is okay in my book, and the event that evening had an entire open bar of it. Yes, with St. Germain sponsoring the night, I was exposed to an array of St. Germain cocktails (St. Germain and soda, St. Germain and champagne...okay, not very creative. But still) and didn't even have to reach for my snakeskin wallet. Aside from the plethora of booze, servers were also passing out delicious hors d'oeuvres from the Ping Pong menu, ranging from pineapple-glazed chicken puffs to shrimp-infused dumplings with hoisin sauce. If nothing else, Ping Pong definitely pimped out the good items on its menu and will definitely have a ton of returning guests from the evening.
Even better? DC's most fabulous Swede, Peter Stepanik, was there photographing the entire evening, in an attempt to make DC slightly LA. Did they pull it off? Let's be real, people. But it was a good try- and an even better evening. I think more tennis players should be celebrating their birthdays in DC. And, Ana, could you please bring Enrique next time?!?

With Pergrin Pervez, of The PGP Group.