I Love Being an Ass

Today, my grandfather, George Panichas Senior, passed away suddenly. Although devastated by his loss, he lived until he was eighty-seven-years old, and walked a mile every day (not outside, but looping around the first level of his house for fifteen minutes in dress pants and a wifebeater). Aside from the occassional "Don't do drugs; they're for crackpots" and "Why don't you date a Greek?", he taught me the importance of education, working hard in all of my endeavors, but most importantly, gave me one piece of advice that I will continue to hold onto for as long as I live:

"Angela, I don't care what religion you are; Buddhist, Hindu, Pagan, you could worship a cat for all I care, but as long as you vote Democrat, I'll be happy."

Well, despite my short-lived fixation for Ralph Nadar and Rudy Giulliani, I have kept my grandfather's promise, and understand that it's actually way cooler to be a Democrat. And my intentions for Paint the Town Leopard were never to make it a rip-roaring conservative hatefest, but in memory of the man who made the blue states in style, below are the reasons why it's actually so much better to be an ass instead of an elephant:

• We're super accepting. We love all ethnicities, races, and sexual orientations. Isn't fun to surround yourself with people who are a little bit different than you are?
• Though you won't see me with PETA splashing red paint on fur coats outside of Saks, Democrats are very animal-friendly. Hello, Louis Vuitton dog carrier? I don't think I could picture a Republican carrying one of those. 
• Unlike other political parties, we normally do not attend events like Nascar Racing or WWE Wrestling. Enough said.
• Not that I'm one for marijuana or recreational drugs in general, but Democrats will make sure that those in chronic pain will get a little bit of relief, even if it is from the sticky green. Jah, boombaclat.
• Blue is just such a better all-around color, which is, for those of you who haven't opened a newspaper, the color that represents states in the electoral college who have voted democrat.
• We are much more apprehensive when making military decisions, thank you very much.
• Democrat presidents are just ten times hotter. Barack Obama versus George W.? Bill Clinton versus Richard Nixon? If you exclude Ronald Reagan from the mix, the democrats are a party for hotties.
• We are extremely for anti-smoking initiatives, and what's better than that? Smoking leads to yellow teeth, black lungs, cancer, and even death. And, I find Joe Camel to be kind of sleazy if you ask me. And maybe even a pedofile. 
• Democrats care about including everyone.

I'm sorry if you disagree with everything that I just mentioned but you're in Washington, DC and probably hear some kind of political fanaticism every day. But regardless of your own beliefs, in memory of my grandfather, I will always be a Democrat.