Be First-Lady Sexy

I was never a huge fan of Michelle Obama despite being the hardcore Democrat that I am. Although I cried tears of joy the day that Barack Obama won the election (alongside the crowd of 1500+ at The Park at 14th dancing to "My President is Black" shortly after), for some reason I just got a poor energy from Michelle. Maybe it was when she rejected Cindy McCain's handshake after the town hall-style debate during the campaign period, or the fact that I read somewhere that she makes poor Malia and Sascha set their own alarms to wake up in the morning (they're, like, 6, for Christ sake! I'm nearly 23 and when I'm home, my mom still gets my ass out of bed). Plus, even though every magazine raves over her bicepts, they look like they could take out a UFC champ, which, no, is not a compliment.
But this evening while working at the sushi restaurant, I was given quite a treat when I was able to see Mrs. Obama up close and personal after a long and actually pleasant (two of them were super hot) visit from the Secret Service. Not to profile, but after the pronoun "she" continued to be used in describing the anonymous VIP guest and a small group of Jimmy Choo-wearing African American women in their mid-forties showed up to be sat at this guest's table, I knew I'd get to see the most powerful woman in the world. Although she wasn't exactly all smiles when she entered the restaurant, she was chic, elegant, had fabulous hair, and most importantly, tipped extremely well ($200 on a $350 tab? Not bad at all!). I never got to meet her directly, but I did get to stand a foot near her and track her every mood and see everything that she was ordering. Pretty stalkerish, yes; But I now know what it takes to be first-lady sexy.

• Order a dirty martini- but don't finish the second: The First Lady is in too great of shape to drink sugary crap. Copy the First Lady and be skinny, but don't finish the second drink and get too drunk.
• Wear sexy, knee high boots: Michelle rocked hers with a pair of skinny jeans, and looked age appropriate and fabulous.
• Go out with only your most beautiful friends: Let's be honest; she only surrounded herself by beautiful people who looked as fabulous as she is.
• Skip the carbs: Michelle didn't order anything with carbohydrates, and ate around the rice in all of her sushi.
• Ask your server about his/her life: She was nice enough to ask her server about his holiday plans, which thank God I wasn't their server, or else I probably would have invited her for Christmas Eve at my house in Lincoln, Rhode Island like an idiot.
• Keep a low profile: Michelle didn't ask for crazy VIP treatment or a special seat in the restaurant; she knows she's amazing already and doesn't need to pull any shenanigans (except for the ridiculous amount of secret service, of course).

Despite my apprehensions, First Lady Michelle Obama was gorgeous, classy, and didn't act like a diva-esque celebrity. I recommend anyone meeting her who has the opportunity, since I would have probably lost my job if I'd done something stupid like went up to her which I probably would have done had I not been working. Oh well, looks like I'll always be starstruck...