Lunchtime Plastic

Need clearer skin? No more frown lines? Angelina Jolie-esque lips? Cosmetic surgeons are finally taking it upon themselves to make Washingtonians more attractive, and with that, have developed non-anesthetic, reasonably priced procedures that can be performed all in the span of a lunch hour. I'm not saying that I'm going to get all Heidi Montag on you, but really, three hundred dollars for a new forehead? It's all about priorities, ladies. Below are some of DC's top cosmetic surgery experts, along with their most popular procedures that won't put much of a dent in your wallet:

• Endermologie Treatments by Dr. James French (3299 Woodburn Rd. Annandale, VA): Though I don't really know the specifics, I've seen something on Dr. 90210 where they externally smooth the cellulite out of the upper thighs and legs. I also think they did this to Kim Kardashian's butt on one of their many reality escapades. Have cottage cheese legs? This is so for you, and doesn't run more than $300 a session. 
• Microdermabrasion by Dr. Phillip Schoenfeld (5454 Wisconsin Ave. Suite 1625 Chevy Chase, MD): Located right across from the Saks in downtown Chevy Chase (great for some last minute shopping post-procedure), enjoy the relaxing skin treatment that literally saved me from acne misery. At $150 per session, Dr. Schoenfeld will sandblast your skin and instantly remove acne scars and skin discoloration. 
• "Lunchtime" Lifts by Dr. Joanne Lenert (2150 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC): For all of the older Leopards out there, dive into your very own personal fountain of youth with this sick treatment, lifting neck fat and droopy eyebrows all within the span of an hour with little recovery time. Though I don't understand how this works, Dr. Lenert has become a DC guru with these procedures. 
• Body Sculpting by Dr. Barlow (398B Woofler Ave Fairfax, VA): Enjoy heat therapy in the process of toning nasty areas like love handles and extra thigh fat in the course of a lunch hour. Though it takes a few times for it to work, the results are definitely dramatic. 
• Sclerotherapy by Dr. Tiffani Lucas (5454 Wisconsin Ave. Chevy Chase, MD): This amazing treatment, performed in a spa-like environment, utilizes painless injections to remove varicose veins and spider veins in the thighs. Aside from the office being beautiful and the procedure being incredible, Dr. Lucas is one of the best doctors I have ever seen (NOT for sclerotherapy, however. My legs are spider vein-free).
• Restalyne and Perlane by Dr. Sheilah Lynch (5454 Wisconsin Ave. Chevy Chase, MD): Another favorite doctor of mine, Dr. Lynch not only provides her patients with "designer" breast implants, but also does some of the most natural-looking, painless wrinkle injection treatments in the area. Utilizing an array of methods, she'll get rid of fine lines in such a subtle way that people will think you're going back in time. Or at least just think you look good.

Okay, so to get the record straight, I'm not advocating everyone changing themselves. But these "lunchtime" procedures have become a competitive trend amongst doctors in the DC area, and as more and more become available, and reasonably priced, you begin to wonder; Will DC soon become a Joan Rivers look-alike contest? Probably not, but one can dream.