Everyone in the DMV is sick right now

Even Beyonce gets boogers sometimes.

So it's time to either get the flu shot, wash your hands more often, or stop making out with randos. Seriously, my office is a petrea dish right now, along with many other offices in the city, as I've heard through the grapevine, and having had to lay low on my Martin Luther King Junior weekend (relatively speaking, people... I did manage to make it to Zengo, Oya, and Zaytinya for restaurant week already), hate the fact that germs have the potential to poorly affect my social life- and you should too. In lieu of forcing everyone to wear one of those SARS-esque face masks for the next three weeks, here are some practical tips to make sure that you're NOT one of the ding-dongs spreading the stomach flu, sinus cold, or whatever it might be in your office:

• Take a multi-vitamin: I like the High Potency Chewable (not a sexy title) from Trader Joe's. It's got tons of Vitamin C and makes me feel healthy. Plus it makes you regular (also not sexy).
• Don't lick your fingers after you snack. Acrylic nails are a huge carrier of germs and it's a stupid idea if you're trying to avoid feeling sick. 
• Don't be tasting everyone's drink at Happy Hour. This is not the Holy Communion during Sunday Liturgy. 
• Don't ride the bus. Period. Unless it's the Circulator. And then still don't ride it at all costs. 
• Don't get any new piercings. The belly button and tounge are the parts of the body that cause for highest levels of infection. And if you do decide to get a belly button during flu season, make sure that your boyfriend doesn't kiss it within the first four months of having it.
• Get lots of sleep. Even if you're not feverish, sometimes we all need to take PTO so that we don't deal with exhaustion issues. Your time off doesn't roll over to the next year, so take advantage and put your health first.
• Throw away your tooth brush if you start to feel ill. My mom always told me to just boil it with water, but I always end up just burning myself, so the $3 on a new toothbrush is worth it. Plus, they now carry the Hello Kitty line of dental products at Target which should be an incentive in and of itself. 
• Don't exchange chewing gum with anyone, even your boyfriend.
• Jet set somewhere warm and fabulous if you can afford it until flu season is over. Germs don't really exist in rich and tropical places.

And there you have it- your stay healthy tips from Dr. Leopard! Until next flu season...