Okay, so maybe not millionaire matchmaker, but I have felt like Patti Stanger as of late. Call me a yenta, but I get so much joy out of setting up two hotties who just need that extra push to meet the perfect person for them. And while I don't have the 99% success rate of Patti Stanger, I still have fun doing it, and after learning that overbearing isn't necesarrily the route to take when introducing two new people to one another, have actually done a little bit better than usual lately. But in carefully studying both sides of the equations, realize that there are some important steps for both males and females to take if they're looking to seal the deal and ensure that there's a date number two in the future. Below, I've put together so many tips from Glamour, The Millionaire Matchmaker, He's Just Not That Into You (a must-read for all keep-it-real women out there who want to tame their psyco habits), and my mother that have definitely shaped the way that I've given advice during the times that I've played matchmaker over the past months:LADIES:
- Be friendly, but let the guy be the guy. Don't carry the whole conversation even if you're fun and usually do so in a social setting. He needs to take charge, and a little bit of awkward silences thrown into the mix might put him up for more of a challenge.
- Don't show too much cleavage on the first date, if any at all. Trust me, I think boobs are the best accessory out there, but if you let the ta-tas hang out too much, no matter how cute the top is, he's going to be thinking DTF instead of DVF.
- Drink, but don't drink too much. Don't be one of those idiot girls who isn't going to have ONE glass of wine because it's a Wednesday night. I'm sorry, but you're going to appear uptight and completely lame. On the flipside, don't get sloshed on your first night out with him; you could say something stupid, fart outloud, or go home with him when you really didn't even want to.
- Offer to pay but don't be too persistent about splitting it should he suggest otherwise. You're on a date, not at a girl power convention.
- Don't be entirely closed off because you don't like his top/where he went to school/the drink that he ordered/the type of wallet that he has. Seriously, I've seen way too may girls do this over something petty, and they miss out on totally great people.
- DO NOT call him immediately after. This is stupid and you've got to make him sweat at least a little bit. HOWEVER, it's a nice gesture to text him and let him know what a nice time you had. Sure, play hard to get a little bit, but in the end, be an adult and keep it real; if you want to call him, call him!
- Own the conversation. Take charge. Make the night effortless for her and woo her with your confidence; even if you're chubby/not wearing a great outfit, this will go a LONG way and detract from the negatives.
- Please, DO NOT bring a friend along with you unexpectedly. This is not a group affair, aka ARE YOU STUPID?!
- Wow her but don't wow her too much that she thinks you're just pretentious. For example, drinks at Rosa Mexicano, Poste, or Bodega are perfect, middle-of-the-road places that are nice without being too upscale. Don't ask her to go to drinks with you at Bourbon Steak on your first date- you'll be broke, she'll be intimidated, and you'll have a huge standard to live up to going forth in the relationship. On the flipside, don't take her to Rocket Bar.
- Don't wear sneakers or an athletic hat.
- Compliment her. Don't be crazy about it- if you do it too much you'll sound like a psyco, but giving her one or two confidence boosters will lighten the mood and make her feel more comfortable around you. Plus, you'll reinforce the idea that you're looking for a romantic connection.
- Don't smoke pot/get drunk before you meet her. Seriously, that's tactless and I'll never want to introduce you to any of my friends again.
- Marvin's on U Street: It's fun, casual, and you can bond over your love for hip-hop and your hatred for the hipster style.
- Masa 14: It's well lit, has a warm atmosphere, and if you get bored, multiple televisions that you can pretend to watch the game on if necessary.
- Cafe Citron: Because who doesn't love Dupont Circle, mojitos, and Salsa?
- Circa: A very white-person place but cozy nevertheless. Totally take her here if you want something simple and classy.
- Bodega: I feel like I'm in Espagna whenever I go here, great spot.
- Mien Yu: A little bit pricier, but the pan-Asian decor will impress her regardless of the mediocre food.
- Oyamel: I've never actually been, but I know a lot of guys who've taken girls to the bar here on their first dates so it could actually be a good choice.
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