In:
• Nicki Minaj: Her album/wig is pink, she’s got a ghetto booty, and she’s totally reinvigorated the idea of a female rapper, in my opinion, since Left Eye. Nicki’s witty, fun, collaborates with only the best, and is the only black girl I know who talks like a Valley Girl. Plus, she’s Perez-approved.
• Green Nails: OPI Hong Kong collection, anyone? Whether your rocking OPI if you’re a plebe like me or Essie/Chanel, different shades of Jade are definitely going to inspire nail fashion in the coming year.
• Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: They’re richer, more Botoxed, and a whole lot more fun to watch than the others. Yes, I was sold on New Jersey forever, but with the RHOBH on the horizon in 2011 with their season finale, I may be converted to the richer and classier group of California girls.
• Name rings: Because I’ve started wearing my the past year after I found it in a random purse and have definitely seen others bring theirs out of the wood-work (AKA their middle school jewelry boxes) as well. • Being Persian: Yes, Lima’s usual crowd has now been dubbed the “in”. With Italians taking over reality television over the past year, get ready for MTV’s newest coming out in early 2011, featuring a bunch of juiced up Persian guys as they take on the LA nightlife scene. Yeaaaa fist pumps.
• Video Phones: The droid and iPhone already have apps to do this, and Beyonce and Gaga sing about it. If you can’t talk to someone while looking at them Chat Roulette-style, you’re so aus. • My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fanstasy: Kanye West’s new album will take over in 2011, with so many single-worthy tracks that you’ll wonder if it’s actually the death of Autotune. With collaborations from The Dream to Elton John to Rihanna, Taylor Swift can get over it because he’s backkkkkkkk!
• The color white: You’ll see a lot of winter whites this season. It ain’t just for summer, people.
• President Obama: Because he’s still doing his thang.
Aus:
• Cargo pants: They’re a stupid trend, because what woman actually wants more material on their thighs?
• iPads: GET OVER IT! Buy a lap top or an iPhone. There is absolutely no need for this intermediary piece of technology, even though I know I probably have so many friends reading this right now getting mad at me.
• Lil Wayne: I’m sorry but I think his voice sounds like a pedofile. He needs to stop drooling, get the tattoo removed from his forehead (not a great look), and get checked for Chlamydia pronto. Then we’ll chat.
• Hipsters: The new Hyundai Sonata commercial really just put me over the edge on this one. Ladies, there’s nothing cool about being boring, not wearing make-up, and dressing like a bag lady. Boys, there’s nothing cool about being filthy, crossing your legs, and wearing baggy flannels from Savers with tight jeans. I don’t know WHO dubbed this social persona as “cool”, but get the hell over it. Not a good look!• Putting out sex tapes to get famous: I used to love Kendra, you know. But as soon as people stopped talking about her, a sex tape just magically got released. Have some dignity, ladies, and step your game up! There are plenty of other ways to be loud and do you. Plus, I don’t know a single person who actually wants to see Brett Michaels…errr… you get the picture.
• Lip Injections: Now, in extreme circumstances, they definitely serve some sort of purpose. But in 90% of all other situations, women end up looking like a combination of Daffy Duck and Daisy of Love. Because you can have DSL without actually having DSL. A little bit of mystery is nice. • Bicycles: They’re a stoopid form of transportation and I always almost hit them when I’m driving. When they’re on the road, they thing they’re one of the cars. Plus, you can’t wear ninety percent of half-decent looking outfits if you’re riding a bike anywhere.
• Scott Disick: He was rude to me in Miami and made fun of the way I said “Oh my God” when I met him. Enough said and totally AUS in my book!!
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