Survive the Recession!

Yes, Paint the Town Leopard is usually featuring DC's hottest events, restaurants, and trends that aren't exactly reflective of a common folk's budget, but everyone seems to be getting a little bit more poor these days. Airline tickets are ever so low, the sale racks at Cusp are getting larger and larger, and it seems to me that even Nicole Kidman has been stricken by the poor economy, as her face is looking less Botox-y than usual. No matter how pathetic and sad you feel, everyone is cutting back on something these days to survive the economic yuckiness; which sexy Barack will be getting us out of soon enough with all of the delicious Bail Out business, I might add. But while he's hard at work in the Oval Office, I've compiled a list of things that I've been doing to save my minimal resources, hoping that maybe I can inspire others to stop living like they're rich:

• Get rid of the acrylic nails: Honestly, I now save $60 a month and can type on my Blackberry ten times faster. I also look more work appropriate and don't feel like trailer trash for the entire day when one pops off. Plus, acrylic nails are so 1998 Jennifer Lopez out of Selena. 
• Buy generic grocery store items: Though it killed me, I bought the Harris Teeter-brand mustard instead of my beloved Grey Poupon. Two dollahs here and two dollahs there just really adds up.
• Take public transportation: We have an amazing metro system and you shouldn't act like a snob about taking it. Those cab drivers can be ridiculous and will try to mess with you just to up the meter; skip all that and hop on the metro or the Circulator. Sometimes, I pretend I'm Carrie from Sex & the City on the New York Subway and it makes me feel like I'm doing something glamorous.
• Go out two nights a week instead of five: You'll loose weight from not consuming all of the empty alcohol calories and develop new hobbies that you never knew existed (as long as none of them compete with Paint the Town Leopard, all you writers out there!). Plus, when you're not in the nightlife seen as often, all of the promoters will flock to you on the nights you actually are out and wonder where you have been. Mysteriousness goes a long way.
• Eat in: Okay, okay. Maybe four nights a week instead of none. But you'll save a huge amount of money and might even enjoy cooking. I discovered my favorite recipe, tilapia cured in blueberries, during one of the poorest weeks of my life.
• Share popcorn at the movies: Those snacks really get you. My friend Christine and I pretended we were on a date and ordered one of those packages that you could refill. Not only did we split the bill, but actually got more popcorn in the end. Which made me feel super bulbous afterwards.
• Wear the same thing twice: Unless you're an heiress and you don't have to. If you haven't gotten over this yet, you're going to end up a broke fool. Just buy a lot of designer items from Loehmans and mix and match. 
• Skip the animals: Contemplating a dog or a cat like I was? SKIP IT! Those things are a nuisance, will poop on your Jimmy Choos, and will end up being more of a headache than the five minutes of snuggle time that you actually enjoy being with them. Go for the pooch when you're more financially stable and aren't obsessed with going to Happy Hour every night after work.
• Go without the plastic surgery: Were you really hoping to get that nose job this year? The breast implants? The lipo? Though plastic surgeons have created all kinds of incentives because they've been out of business, skip it. You're going to feel really bad when you realize you're wearing two month's rent on your chest.

Got anymore fetch ideas for living a plebe lifestyle like me? Be sure to comment. And, might I add, this was SO much easier to type now that I got the acrylics removed...

MMMMMendocino Grill and Wine Bar

Looking for a Sex and the City-style dinner with girlfriends at a fabulous locale? Check out Mendocino Grille and Wine Bar in Georgetown, my newest find and obsession that gladly emptied my bank account this past Friday evening. Though you won't find cheap beverages here, the mood is intimate and classy, with a little over twenty tables, and hidden on M Street enough to give it a secretive and seductive flare. After stumbling upon it last week while leaving happy hour (yes, it's not just for plebes) at The Guards with a group, I was shocked to realize that I had never noticed this little piece of fabulosity that was a mere four blocks from my home. Looking over the menu and rudely gazing at the guests' entrees sitting closest to the window (they did NOT appreciate that), I roped two girlfriends into coming with me this past Friday night and had one of the best meals I have had in DC in months.
It's not your ostentatious and showy CityZen or Citronelle- not that there's anything wrong with these places, don't get me wrong; but you know those toolbags who throw around these names to look rich- and that's the best part about it. Around since the mid-nineties, Mendocino has relied on little marketing or publicity, but has maintained a consistent following because of its A+ cuisine. As an Italian restaurant with a California flare (hence 'Mendocino'), sip on insanely delicious wines while indulging on savory dishes. From the amazing cheese plates (we ordered a second), to the Arctic char, to the UNREAL rissotto that is officially my new DC guilty pleasure, Mendocino aroused my senses and took me out of DC for the two hours I was there, as it wasn't filled with "the network" that usually takes over the majority of the city's trendiest spots. Though we were too stuffed for dessert, the menu looked amazing, and will definitely be an indulgence on my next trip.
And even more interestingly enough, there was not a single negative review on Yelp.com to be found; a rarity with most DC restaurants. Bring your wallet, bring your appetite, and be sure to take a spinning class at WSC the next day, but it'll all be worth it; Mendecino is an A++.

Mendocino Grille and Wine Bar is located at 2917 M Street and is opened seven days a week for dinner. Reservations are strongly recommended due to the restaurant's small size, and can be made at (202).333.2912.

Reality Bracelets

She may have flew first class to a shopping vacation the day after her home was foreclosed. She may have also got one of the most rancid facelifts ever seen on the boob tube. But despite her sometimes flawed character, Lynne Curtin, of the Real Housewives of Orange County, makes some pretty freaking cute bracelets.
With her colleagues dabbling in their own products- Gretchen Rossi launching a line of mediocre makeup in a downward-spiraled economy, Teresa Giudice writing her "Skinny Italian" cookbook (and though I love her table flipping ways, sorry, but it'd be as dumb as me writing "Skinny Greek"...you gotta fit the part), and Kim Zolciak singing her one-hit wonder that I actually work out to sometimes- Curtin has beaten all of them, supreming in her own endeavors and creating some of the cutest cuffs I've seen in some time. Featuring looks for both men and women (though I wouldn't recommend the men wear anything this pretty), she incorporates traditional leather work and steel with sparkling fleur des lis, mosaic emblems, and crosses, ranging from $64 to $180.
And though I hate to endorse someone who is retarded enough to buy a $2100 leather jacket two days after eviction, I must give kudos to Curtin for the creative cuffs. They sparkle, embody femininity with edge, and look adorable next to any girl like Lynne Curtin who has a wardrobe loaded with Sky dresses.  Though she's recently developed earrings, necklaces, rings, and belts that are adorable as well, the cuffs are where it's at in Housewife heaven.

Check out Lynne's creations at www.shoplynnecurtindesigns.com. 

If DC was the new Hollywood...

Legally Blonde 2. Evan, Almighty. And, of course, who could forget Mars Attacks? With the Capitol playing the scenery to more and more movies each year, the city becomes trickled with more and more celebrities, reality shows, and people thinking they're more important then they actually are (and do we really need more of those?). Though we have no Kitson Boutique or Lauren Conrad, no In & Out Burger or Polo Louge, it's sometimes interesting to think where all of the celebutards gracing us with their facelifts and illegitimate children on the covers of US Weekly and People every week would congregate. If we had paparazzo instead of Secret Service officers, oxygen bars instead of Five Guys, and Matthew McConaughey instead of Barack Obama being the man of the hour, just where would we end up? Well, screw you, El Lay; this is what all of Hollywood's finest would be doing if they were forced to the land of political bonanza:

• Heidi Montag: She wouldn't be able to get over all of the uglies in the city, and wouldn't understand why they just didn't put a second mortgage on their home to get a facelift, eye injection, and eight other procedures. She'd apply to be a Madison but after getting rejected three years in a row would end up getting another ten procedures.
• Ryan Seacrest: He'd live in a quaint little townhouse in Dupont Circle and would enjoy Disco Brunch at Cobalt with his maltipoo every Sunday. He'd also be confused when people would love at him funny about this.
• Paris Hilton: Would try to make the girls of Glitterazzi her new BFFs, but after realizing that their vocabulary exceeds that of a sixth grader's, would find a boyfriend on the roof top at the W and make him take her to Minibar every weekend. Which is a total waste, because she would end up throwing up all of her meal to stay skinny, anyway. That's hot.
• Kim Kardashian: Would attempt to open up a third Dash boutique on M street, but after Washingtonians seeing was a tacky disaster the merchandise was, would be forced to shut down. But thank goodness for Reggie Bush; Because of her boo, and his pro-athlete status, Kim would get access to the Park at 14th every night.
• Gretchen Rossi: Would sit at the bar of Cafe Milano every Thursday night, not because the clientele was made up of all rich, powerful seventy-plus year old men, but because she just really liked the chicken piccata. 
• Lindsay Lohan: Would be best friends with every single club promoter in DC. She'd start at L2, spent the majority of her nights at Lima, and end up at after hours at Funxion. She would be very cranky with the 3 am closing times, and would eventually end up Bolt Bussing-it to NYC every weekend. Yes, Bolt Bussing. Home girl hasn't made a decent movie in years.
• Pauly D: Would rage at Josephine every night (the closest thing to a guido crowd in DC, thank God for GW boys), work out at Vida every day, and would live right over the bridge in Rosslyn. He'd also read Paint the Town Leopard every day, in hopes of one day being able to meet his future wife...
• Nicole Richie: Would join the Human Rights Campaign and be in every damn protest the city had that it would become her full time job, just because she wanted to get use out of all of her Free People-esque ensembles. Her across the forehead headbands would give her chronic migraines and eventually force her to stop.
• Lady Gaga: Would be worshipped by all of Dupont Circle and seen as some kind of prophet in that area. She'd get her hair cut at Immortal Beloved and buy tons of costume pieces from Annie's Cream Cheese. And, obviously, she'd spend every night raging at Town. She's a free bitch, baby.
• Brangelina: Would enroll their entire UN brood at the Montessori School in Georgetown followed by classes at the Alliance Francais after school. But other than that, not much would change, seeing how they're trying to save the world all the time and coming here; Angie would still work for her initiatives, a child from Zimbabwe would soon be adopted, and they would continue dressing Shiloh like a boy (poor thing).

Wonder what would happen if DC made its way to Hollywood? I don't know how good Rush Limbaugh would do fist pumping at Les Deux...

Happy Hour is not just for Plebes

I'll admit it, I was a hater. For my entire adult life, I've judgmentally looked down upon those mid-twenties young professionals who head to Chef Geoffs in their H&M suits after work, drinking crap beer and splurging on cheap sliders. But perhaps it got worse when I waitressed for a year, only to be greeted by guests in the lounge who would come to my restaurant for a specific item, but change their entire selection once they realize that they'll save two dollars by ordering something on the- gasp!- Happy Hour menu. People like that would ruin my sales goals, tip me eighteen percent (I was never satisfied with anything under twenty for the level of great service I gave), have me running around the restaurant like a bafoon for an hour for their idiot requests, and over all make my entire evening a living hell. For that, my dear friend Brian and I decided that Happy Hour was an entity only for commoners and people who wanted to front that they could afford to dine at certain establishments. But despite getting screwed money-wise because of this annoying hospitality invention, something happened that suddenly changed my mind.
I got a professional job a month ago. I started working a 9 to 5, wanted to make friends there, and went to the place that most of my colleagues congregated after work. And, my annual salary was chopped in half.
Okay, okay, let me back up. Though I have spent the last two Thursdays in Dupont Circle (which probably is the reason why I'm in bed on a Friday night with an awful chest cold) does NOT mean that I won't order that glass of Riesling because it's not on the designated Happy Hour menu. But the dollar tacos at Front Page weren't so bad nor was the wasabi guacamole at SEI. And after two weeks, I now consider myself a regular on the Happy Hour circuit (but am sure I wear cuter outfits to work on a day which I know will be followed by a long night). Below are my favorite Happy Hours to date in the District, but promise me; DO NOT decline to order your favorite drink because it's not on the Happy Hour menu. That's very annoying for the waitress, and just spend the extra two dollars, dammit. Life's too short.

• Cafe Citron (1343 Connecticut Ave): DC Bartender extraordinnaire Rob Bermeo mixes some of the District's most delicious mojitos, for only $4 a glass. Coronas and sangria go for $3, but looking at all of the hot Latino men who work there is definitely priceless.
• Russia House (1800 Connecticut): I love this place because it's in an old embassy building and I feel like a celebutante when I drink here even though it's open to the entire public. Enjoy discounted martinis in the loungey atmosphere.
• SEI Restaurant (444 7th St NW): I know I'm always pimping out SEI, but only for good reason. With $7 specialty cocktails, $6 guacamole, sushi rolls, and kobe beef sliders, along with expert bartending from Ali Abdalla and Marc Eber, you're sure to be in for a treat at this Japanese hot spot. Arigato.
• Hotel Helix (1430 Rhode Island): I love the vibe here, but even more, the half priced burgers. It definitely has a stylish young professional crowd, and is consistent in its level of energy. But you won't find the cat here (or is that Felix?...).
• The Hudson (2030 M St. NW): There's actually no 'the' in front, but I've been calling it this for my entire tenure in DC and am not changing now. This spot has a Euro-infused patio, $5 wine and beer, and a delicious food menu. The service is also very much on point which is a plus.
• Mate (3101 K Street): My home away from home and go-to date spot hosts Latin-Asian fusion with some of the most unique rolls ever. Try the "spicy & sweet roll", a delicious mix of minced spicy tuna and plantains. As far as drinks, the Bubbles on Ice (St. Germain, soda water, and champagne) is my go-to, but the Xcstacy is great, too.
• Front Page (1333 New Hampshire NW): A really fun, prepster, young professional crowd with $2 coronas and dollar tacos, but in an establishment where you don't have to be afraid to use the bathroom. The deck also lends itself to the weather getting nicer, unless you live on Claratin, like I do.
• Cafe Saint Ex (1847 14th Street but off of U St.): AMAZING small plates and great drink specials, this hipster spot is a lot of fun and makes you feel like a real "city" girl for going. Ride your bicycle there and wear every Urban Outfitter item in your wardrobe at once if you want to fit in. And on Mondays, enjoy $2 Yuenglings. 

Don't drink and drive. And don't drink and tip under twenty percent. Enjoy, young professionals!!

Thought You Knew the Capital?

While you procrastinate at work all day, learn a little something about where you're working or living. With the potential of auditioning for Miss District of Columbia this weekend (yikes- haven't sang professionally in five years, I could potentially break some glass), I felt it was important today to brush up on a lot of my Washington, DC "fun facts", if you will. Did you know the Wood Thrush is our official bird (Thank you, Audobon Society)? Or that Washingtonians couldn't vote in presidential elections until 1961? Read on to hear more oh-my-gawds about your favorite city ever:

• The DC in Washington, DC stands for District of Columbia (Just kidding HAH).
• There are 172 embassies and foreign offices housed here.
• The motto of DC is Justicia Omnibus, or "Justice for All" if you aren't fluent in Latin.
• DC averages more than 39 inches a year- more than Seattle's total!
• The city is run by a mayor (Fenty, who I must say is quite the stud) and a city council (though not so many spring chickens in here).
• The Nationals Park is the first certified Green stadium in the country for sports.
• Thank God for Dick and Joe, because DC didn't provide an official home for VPs until 1974.
• In 1989 the Height of Buildings Act was passed to avoid the enactment of sky scrapers.
• Famous DC residents include "Sugar" Ray Leonard, Duke Ellington, Marvin Gaye, Collin Powell, Mya, and the very sexy Soujouner Truth.
• You've got mail! DC's the official headquarters to AOL, and I've even waited on Steve Case before in my days of being a server.
• 71.8% of the District's residents are African-American.

Yes, a weak list at best, but this is a little bit of what I got out of learning about my favorite city in the world today. Next to Paris, that is.

It's Starting to Get Caliente...

I always know that summer activities in DC have begun when I'm immediately forced to go to the salon and get my hair relaxed with a Keratin treatment. Sad, but true; at work last week, I went to work with straight hair and left with a full-fledged Erykah Badu-inspired afro. But despite my hair woes, it cannot be denied that the spring months are perfect for enjoying the DC outdoors. While you're pretty much guaranteed an asthma attack walking outside for over ten minutes once July hits, take advantage of being able to wear your bedazzled Jack Rogers flip flops, barely there T-Bags dress, and enjoy the city's outdoor activities in style:

• Sit on the Georgetown Waterfront. Or drink. Or just people watch. Whatever the case, my neighborhood is the perfect locale to see and be seen when the weather gets nice (not to get all Gossip Girl on you, but it's true).
• Looking for a college boy? Mingle with some of American University's finest fraternity brothers at Guapo's on Wisconsin Ave. Despite being my AU old faithful bar (a quesadilla from there always did the trick if a guy pissed me off), this place has some of the best margaritas and chips and salsa in town. Though it's not very scenic overlooking the Best Buy, put on your old Greek letters and pretend you're in college again.
• Walk around the National Mall and act like a straight up tourist. Ride the carousel, buy popcorn, and maybe even pop into a Smithsonian. Or, bring a bottle of wine and a picnic blanket, and pretend you're looking at the Eiffel Tower instead of the phallic Washington Monument. 
• Browse the local art at Eastern Market in South West, and be sure to zero in on Quest Skinner's delicacies. Not much of an art connoisseur? A farmer's market takes up half the market. Even better, many of the farmers bring free samples of their fruits, so bring your appetite, as well.
• Enjoy the Disco Brunch at Cobalt in Dupont Circle alongside some of DC's most fabulous in the gay community. With unlimited mimosas and delicious french toast while people watching outside, you really can't go wrong.
• Sit on the deck at Lima and enjoy one of their insanely amazing mojitos. And featuring a Latin night every Monday, you can even enjoy a mariachi guitarist outdoors and switch to reggaeton inside.
• Go peruse the shops in Old Town Alexandria. With cute restaurants, boutiques, and a New England-historical flare all in the home town of George Washington himself, you can almost still hear the horses trotting down the street.... kind of....
• Get a spray tan at Solar Planet in Georgetown if you have really bad allergies but want to pretend that you've been social outside when the weather is nice. It lasts for ten days and won't put you at risk for melanoma, and what's better than that?!

Enjoy the warm weather!