Happy Hour is not just for Plebes

I'll admit it, I was a hater. For my entire adult life, I've judgmentally looked down upon those mid-twenties young professionals who head to Chef Geoffs in their H&M suits after work, drinking crap beer and splurging on cheap sliders. But perhaps it got worse when I waitressed for a year, only to be greeted by guests in the lounge who would come to my restaurant for a specific item, but change their entire selection once they realize that they'll save two dollars by ordering something on the- gasp!- Happy Hour menu. People like that would ruin my sales goals, tip me eighteen percent (I was never satisfied with anything under twenty for the level of great service I gave), have me running around the restaurant like a bafoon for an hour for their idiot requests, and over all make my entire evening a living hell. For that, my dear friend Brian and I decided that Happy Hour was an entity only for commoners and people who wanted to front that they could afford to dine at certain establishments. But despite getting screwed money-wise because of this annoying hospitality invention, something happened that suddenly changed my mind.
I got a professional job a month ago. I started working a 9 to 5, wanted to make friends there, and went to the place that most of my colleagues congregated after work. And, my annual salary was chopped in half.
Okay, okay, let me back up. Though I have spent the last two Thursdays in Dupont Circle (which probably is the reason why I'm in bed on a Friday night with an awful chest cold) does NOT mean that I won't order that glass of Riesling because it's not on the designated Happy Hour menu. But the dollar tacos at Front Page weren't so bad nor was the wasabi guacamole at SEI. And after two weeks, I now consider myself a regular on the Happy Hour circuit (but am sure I wear cuter outfits to work on a day which I know will be followed by a long night). Below are my favorite Happy Hours to date in the District, but promise me; DO NOT decline to order your favorite drink because it's not on the Happy Hour menu. That's very annoying for the waitress, and just spend the extra two dollars, dammit. Life's too short.

• Cafe Citron (1343 Connecticut Ave): DC Bartender extraordinnaire Rob Bermeo mixes some of the District's most delicious mojitos, for only $4 a glass. Coronas and sangria go for $3, but looking at all of the hot Latino men who work there is definitely priceless.
• Russia House (1800 Connecticut): I love this place because it's in an old embassy building and I feel like a celebutante when I drink here even though it's open to the entire public. Enjoy discounted martinis in the loungey atmosphere.
• SEI Restaurant (444 7th St NW): I know I'm always pimping out SEI, but only for good reason. With $7 specialty cocktails, $6 guacamole, sushi rolls, and kobe beef sliders, along with expert bartending from Ali Abdalla and Marc Eber, you're sure to be in for a treat at this Japanese hot spot. Arigato.
• Hotel Helix (1430 Rhode Island): I love the vibe here, but even more, the half priced burgers. It definitely has a stylish young professional crowd, and is consistent in its level of energy. But you won't find the cat here (or is that Felix?...).
• The Hudson (2030 M St. NW): There's actually no 'the' in front, but I've been calling it this for my entire tenure in DC and am not changing now. This spot has a Euro-infused patio, $5 wine and beer, and a delicious food menu. The service is also very much on point which is a plus.
• Mate (3101 K Street): My home away from home and go-to date spot hosts Latin-Asian fusion with some of the most unique rolls ever. Try the "spicy & sweet roll", a delicious mix of minced spicy tuna and plantains. As far as drinks, the Bubbles on Ice (St. Germain, soda water, and champagne) is my go-to, but the Xcstacy is great, too.
• Front Page (1333 New Hampshire NW): A really fun, prepster, young professional crowd with $2 coronas and dollar tacos, but in an establishment where you don't have to be afraid to use the bathroom. The deck also lends itself to the weather getting nicer, unless you live on Claratin, like I do.
• Cafe Saint Ex (1847 14th Street but off of U St.): AMAZING small plates and great drink specials, this hipster spot is a lot of fun and makes you feel like a real "city" girl for going. Ride your bicycle there and wear every Urban Outfitter item in your wardrobe at once if you want to fit in. And on Mondays, enjoy $2 Yuenglings. 

Don't drink and drive. And don't drink and tip under twenty percent. Enjoy, young professionals!!