Vera Bradley=WOOF!

Somewhere in the midst of working in my little cubicle yesterday with Venti chai in hand, someone asked me if there were ever things that I found to be "totally un-leopard". After being flattered and figuring out how I was going to patent the phrase, they went on to explain how my blog showcases all different things-clothes, restaurants, beauty techniques, etc- that I find to be categorically savvy and amazing, but, aside from two rants about my disdain for Intermix, have absolutely nothing that demonstrates what I find to be completely out. I thought about this all day, until a single pattern continuously snuck up on my everywhere I went.
Nearly hurting my eyes each time I saw it gracing the presence on someone's gym bag or key chain, I realized that, close to "Goach" bags (AKA the disgustingly awful Coach knock-offs that replace the 'c' with a 'g'... hello, you really thought that you took people by surprise?), there is easily nothing in the word that nauciates me more than Vera Bradley ANYTHING.
No offense to her, because I'm sure she's a very nice, church-going lady, but her designs are an absolute nightmare. Started in 1982 by Patricia Polito Miller, her and a friend decided, while waiting for a flight in Atlanta (figures) that there was "no feminine options for luggage" (had I been born, she would have seen my leopard print luggage and this nightmare of a fashion line would have ceased to exist) and took on designing totes, wallets, cosmetic cases, cell phone covers, and just about anything else that has the capacity to make everything in your personal space look like your grandmother's table cloth just threw up on you.
Well, props for you for trying. But, honestly, everything made here just looks like total poo-poo. It is totally uncreative, sewn in cheap cotton, has no sparkles on it, shows more paisley then I ever knew existed, and are designed in the most blase color schemes I have ever seen in my life. Ladies, stay away from this designer if you have any dignity. Until she comes out with leather and embellishments on her designs, Vera Bradley is totally OUT in my book. Unless you're pretending to be a Nana for Halloween.