Gaga, why?

Clearly if you’ve read more than three entries on this blog, you’re aware that I’m a huge fan of Lady Gaga. And why wouldn’t I be? She has a fabulous voice, copied my bangs haircut from me (JK), has great dance tracks, and loves the gays. But I have a bone to pick with homegirl as of lately; sure, she’s trying to be original and whatever, but if I was a multi-million record selling artist and had access to all of the resources and dollars in the world, I would look like a million bucks; It would be extensions-, lipo-, rhinoplasty-, Louboutain- city. I would go to the best trainers, have my teeth professionally whitened, eat only the freshest sushi and arugula, and drink SmartWater whenever I wanted (let’s face it; that stuff is $3 a bottle and out of my plebey price range). With Gaga having access to this and God knows what else, I don’t understand why she would purposely want to do unflattering things to herself. I’m not perfect and by all means an expert when it comes to vanity, but why do things to yourself that you know aren’t going to look good? Such as:


1. The neck braces, veils, and other accessories that make her seem like she’s recovering after having been hit by a bus. But at least very fashionably, to say the least.

2. The spikes, or whatever the hell they are, protruding from her forehead. They look like tumors and there’s nothing sexy about them.

3. The black bangs and blonde hair. Cruella, anyone?

4. The shaven eyebrows and lack of fake eyelashes. If you have a schnoz, you need to balance out your face (trust me I know this from experience). Perhaps she’s just looking to flaunt her Mediterranean heritage, but a little false eyelashes and eyebrows never hurt anyone.

5. This new bandana look. She’s the queen of fashion, Haus of Gaga, lover of Chanel, whatever; but with this accessory, it appears that she’s channeling Brett Michaels.

Yes, Gaga, I love you. You’re great. Jesus is the new Black. Whatever. BUT; I can’t get over the fact that she doe such unflattering things to herself…Hopefully we won’t have a meat dress repeat.