It's been a year of ups and downs for me. While I needed to use spell check and Lamar Odom (which isn't much help, let's be honest) to make sure that my letter to you was correct, I wanted to be sure that I gave you a list of everything I wanted this year. And, no Santa, no Birkins this year; I already have fifteen of those! This year, I would like:
- A year's worth of extensions... you think that those Victoria Secret Angel waves are actually mine?!
- One million extra Twitter followers so that I can beat out Paris Hilton's number. You know I'm addicted to Twitter, Santa... #KUWTK, #KKTNY... These acronyms are, like, the next LOL.
- This time, no half-assed man. And by half-assed, I mean half black. Breaking up with my Reggie Bush was the biggest mistake of my life.
- More Spanx. Let's be honest; my body type warrants them (did I really just use the word 'warrant!?).
- Anything way tight that accentuates my booty, which is all natural and even had it X-rayed on national television to shut up the haters.
- Another facelift for my step dad Bruce.
- More Botox. Hello, I started at age twenty!
- Electrolysis. Let's face it Santa, I am half Armenian, after all.
I've been very good, aside from divorcing after 72 days and not giving back my million dollar engagement ring OR gifts....
Love,
Kimmie K
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