Balls Dropping

If you're anything like me and my girlfriends, the ten dollar question of the moment is what (and who) you'll be doing to ring in the new century. With the Mayan calendar giving us only two more years after this one, it's more than necessary that it's celebrated with a bang with only the most fabulous (jokes). Though difficult in Rhode Island at times, finding New Years Eve plans shouldn't be the slightest bit difficult for a District girl, but with many of the hottest parties already sold out (with strict fire code laws that I can't even finagle eight extra tickets if I tried...this is the Capital, people) some people are even stooping low enough to buy tables at UltraBar; which I want to clarify, I don't mean in a snobby way, but would prefer not to spend my New Year's Eve at the same place I spent every fraternity mixer at in college, in which I ended up having to deal with the heartache of finding a guy who I thought was really cute at the beginning but always ended up puking in a plastic bag by midnight because his brothers made him chug an entire handle of God-knows-what at the pre-game. JUST SAYING. With this being said, the clock is ticking at it's extremely important that everyone solidifies their plans within the next day or two, because I don't know about you, but I'd really prefer to not be at Clyde's when the ball drops.
Promoters will be pulling you in eight million directions, claiming that they have the "official" event for Washington, DC that evening, but please ignore the hoopla; you'll only be paying double and triple for a place that you normally stumble into at the end of your night for free. Still unsure of my personal New Year's Eve plans, aside from the fact that I will be at work for the majority of the evening (and that two of Rhode Island's finest will be making their way to DC for the night), I've compiled a list of some leopard-approved parties that could definitely be rewarding:

• National Building Museum ($80): With open bar from 9 to 1 am, this is probably the most coveted party that I was too stupid to buy tickets for in advanced. So let's move on since it's sold out and I don't want to think about what I'll be missing. 
• 9:30 Club & Hotel Helix ($282 for two, overnight package): Looking for somewhere hipster and different that you can wear that vintage sequin number from Annie's Cream Cheese? Featuring Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, this jazz-ska band will be the perfect treat. The 9:30 Club can get a little bit B.O.-ish however, so just be careful. 
• Love Nightclub ($40): Ring in 2010 at the original Marc Barnes club with Drake and TreySongz hosting. It should be a good time if you're into the hiphop scene, but as Barnes himself has said, "Love ain't for everyone".
• Grand Hyatt ($169): If you can't bump and grind, this might be a safer party for you, featuring Third Eye Blind. The Grand Hyatt usually throws a banger for NYE, but Third Eye Blind? More like Third Eye Blahhh. 
• The Willard ($265): For all of the rich bitches out there who want to party with DC's finest, this is the party for you. Enjoy white-gloved service of hors d'oeuvres and cocktails along with different themed rooms. For nearly the cost of my monthly car payment. 
• Lima ($40 general adm, $1000 for a table): I know it's a DC nightlife staple, but the club supposedly throws a great NYE party. I just don't know how down I am to pay $40 to a club that normally charges no cover. Thoughts?
• The W Hotel ($125): Amazing location, beautiful people, and very attractive staffing...however, there's no open bar included in the price. Then again, you can always just make some friends there and create your own "open bar". Which I don't encourage, of course. 

There you have it; in my opinion, the best New Years Eve parties that the District is offering this year. However, I'm always willing to admit my faults, and as my first NYE that I will be in the District, please leave any additional comments you may have on good parties or venues. And for those of you staying in Rhode Island for New Years Eve, it's a one stop shop; Monet Lounge, because who's better than DJ Vibe and Bobby Furtado?

Feeling the Post-Holiday Chub?

I know I am. With constant snacking, boozing, and stuffing my face like I just got off of a season of Survivor, I shouldn't be surprised that my jeans are a little bit snug and that my foopa is sticking out a little bit more then usual. Coming from a family that has a huge meal Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and a brunch the morning after, my stomach has expanded that caused me the sneak two dinners tonight; the intervention occurred this evening when I sat down for a three course dinner with my family, while I was waiting to go out for dim sum with friends, which is not exactly the skinniest thing to eat, either. My mother, after realizing what I was doing, immediately cut off the intellectual conversation we were having about the new Lady Gaga song and screamed "What the hell are you doing!? You're going out to eat in an hour! Do you want to end up like your father?!" In which my father put in his two cents thereafter, causing quite a stir in the Milas household, but not enough to make me loose my appetite. After stuffing my face for the past seventy-two hours, I also credit myself with knowing how to quickly take the weight off, as well. I'm not saying to go bulimic for the week or anything; your breath will be horrible and no one will want to make out with you, plus you'll put all of the weight back on in no time. But, I do have some quickie tips that will help to ensure that no one asks you when the baby is due:

• Limit carbs to under 20g per day: For all of you hardcore dieters out there, I'm sure you skip carbs all together. But I get cranky and mean after two days of doing this, so instead, I have my whole wheat bagel in the morning with a piece of fruit and then cut everything else out for the rest of the day. When I'm good, that is. 
• Poop often: By eating food with high roughage counts, you'll not only regulate your system (as you doctor likes to put it) but will eliminate water weight, as well. Because no girl is sexy who has a water retention problem. Or who is always constipated. 
• Have an exercise regimen, even if it's easy: Even if you're just going on the treadmill at 3.3 mph for twenty minutes once a day, you're still moving your body and at least doing something (no matter how pathetic it is). Doing anything extra will burn those few extra calories so that you can loose those extra pounds faster.
• Watch lots of Girls Next Door: Or any other show on television where the girls have ridiculously in shape and altered physiques. Then, you'll feel like the biggest blimp and get depressed, and be all the more motivated to get your butt back in gear. 
• Throw away the snacks: Live alone? Chuck all of the Doritos, Cheetos, cookies, and any other caloric Christmas leftovers lingering behind. Because even if you say you're not going to eat it, if you're anything like me, you know you're going to come home drunkenly on Friday night and kill it all in an hour. And that's potentially just as bad as waking up in a strange guy's bed. 
• Create at-work exercise routines: I do this as a waitress frequently; carry heavier items, do some squats when no one is looking, and squeeze your glutes in reps of 12. I also like to use wine bottles and water pitchers as weights. In fact, I could dedicate an entire entry to all of my exercise routines in one. 
• Find the nearest sweat lodge: This could just be the sauna at the local Washington Sports Club for many of you. But if you get really desperate, ignore the warning and exceed the fifteen minute maximum, and suck it up for a good hour. Bring an iPod, because although a challenge, the results will be great (although I'm not sure how healthy....hey, a girl gets desperate sometimes). 

Listen, I'm not pro-skinny by any means, nor do I believe that a size two is better than a size six. I love eating, hate exercising, and very rarely exercise self discipline in this regard, which can get me into trouble sometimes. But I do know how important it is to look hot in that New Years Eve dress that you bought over two months ago, even if it's just for your girlfriends. So do what you have to do and buck up for the next couple days, because you know that you don't want to be ringing in the new decade with a bunch of preggers-looking photos tagged of you on Facebook.

FOLLOW THE LEOPARD ON TWITTER!

Are you addicted to Paint the Town Leopard? Need your daily dose of stupidity, guidoness, and wisdom but don't have the time to read the sometimes lengthy articles every day? Even though I always thought the name was stupid and didn't make sense, aside from the fact that people are so addicted that they practically twitter (or is it tweet) every poo that they take, I've succumbed and can currently be found under my alias, Angela Milas. If you really care to follow-which, trust me, I don't blame you if you don't- please log on and join. You won't miss it, it's the only page I've seen with an entire leopard and lime green print themed background. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas, Leopards!

Or as the Greeks say, kala christouyena. I hope each and every one of your holidays are filled with great friends, good food (nix the diet for the day, please...I'm eating straight carbohydrates as I type), and some excellent gifts (some fabulous Sky dresses and a new Quest Skinner painting were some of my best, along with some other great pieces that will be broken out soon). Indulge today; have that extra glass of champagne, make out with that hot man at your cousin's Christmas dinner today that you're pretty sure you're not related to, and please don't forget to watch this season's holiday episode of The Office in which Jesus Christ himself makes a cameo at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Enjoy this special day and Merry Christmas! :)

"Christmas is a Time for Godiva Chocolatiers...I Mean Soup Kitchens!"

With the holidays right around the corner, I suspect that you too are rushing around for last minute gifts right now if you're as irresponsible as I am. Rather than wasting your time fighting with WASPy moms in line at the Yankee Candle in Georgetown, looking at you like your the biggest plebe to hit DC, choose your shopping locations wisely and kill all your birds with one stone (or however that expression goes) without having to sit in Tyson's Corner traffic for over an hour, which, yes, I did. The following places are some great DC locales with great gift ideas that will make you appear like you spent a lot of money when you actually didn't (and will also help to be sure that people get you expensive things in return, after they feel bad seeing that it appeared you spent so much money...just saying). So tomorrow morning, eat a granola bar so you don't get hypoglycemic, chug a vanilla chai, and get your walking shoes on (as long as they look good and match your outfit) for some serious shopping madness, Paint the Town Leopard-style. After much research, I suggest the following stops for your loved ones (and your liked ones, too):

• For your mommy: Hit up Amethyst Boutique in Bethesda, which specializes in silver, gold, and precious metal jewelry with precious stones. The pieces are all affordable and the owners are awesome so you won't feel guilty giving them business.
• For your diddy: Because he's rich and can probably buy whatever he wants whenever he wants, consider purchasing him tickets to a show. Andrea Bocelli? Cheech and Chong? Or, if he's on the feminine side, Susan Boyle? With DC, the sky's the limit with the array of performers we get.
• For your Yiayia (translation: grandmother in Greek): She will be tickled to death if you donate to a DC charity in her name. Consider donating to Starlight Mid-Atlantic Children's Foundation or DC's Central Kitchen, which both have online applications to make charitable donations so you won't even have to leave your living room and deal with DC degenerates two days before Christmas Eve.
• For your boo: Target + Best Buy, baby! But stay away from Columbia Heights and Tenleytown to avoid the insane crowds and check out Alexandria, instead. You'll find laptops and flat screen televisions for as low as $200, and super cheap digis as well.
• For your child, nieces, nephews, etc: Hottoys2009.com is an awesome site with the most popular ranked toys of this Christmas season. Plus, they have rushed delivery so assure that your toys will arrive ASAP. Or, if your cousins are like mine, get them a Barack Obama bobble head from one of the 8000 inaugural souvenir shops.
• For your best girls: Check out Bloomingdales in Chevy Chase. They have some insane holiday sales on Marc Jacobs and Juicy (which I still love, don't hate) that will make them happy since they probably wouldn't buy any of that stuff for themselves.
• For your boss/manager: A Christmas Georgetown cupcake, which just moved to a new and beautiful M Street location and has holiday-themed treats. Totally affordable and they'll think you're very thoughtful.
• For the mailman: Go to CVS and buy some fake Godiva chocolatier whatevers. Because unless your a mother in suberbia, it's problematic for you to be buying pressents for your mailman.

As the Santa in your advent calender gets closer to the 24th, don't be a bad Santa and get on the ball with your Christmas shopping. Follow my suggestions and you'll be far away from most of DC's crazies.

Wanna See an Alien Sex Scene?

When I think of sci-fi, I think of the following; People who go to internet cafes, Magic cards (remember those?), and Dwight Schrute from The Office. Although funny, none of these three things have anything to do with how I define myself nor are the slightest bit attractive. So, when I was dragged into seeing James Cameron's latest flick, Avatar, I was slightly apprehensive. I've never liked sci-fi, first off, and have really bad blepharitis in both of my eyes so figured that the 3D glasses would end up just giving me a headache by the end of the two hours and forty five minute computer geek's orgasm-on-film type of movie. I hate to say it, but I was very wrong; Avatar entertained, kept me at the edge of my seat, and had a deep, underlying liberalism message that had my Republican man shaking in his seat (even though he would never admit it).
Taking place on a planet known as Pandora, which encompasses water, trees, and creatures that resemble humans to an extent (only are blue, nine feet tall, and have tails...so I guess don't really resemble humans), scientists, businessmen, and military officials set out to the planet to tame the creatures and uncover valuable natural resources. Without giving too much away- because it's just THAT creative and I don't want to spoil it for anyone- the movie gains a political undertone immediately that showcases the continuous struggle between environmentalism and capitalism (which they did such a good job with, that even the girl right here who wears leather and eats steak managed to shed a tear) on this new planet.
Having been documented as the most expensive movie to have ever been made, Cameron creates an entire indigenous species of people, animals, and even developed a language for the Na'vi race (AKA the aliens) with a linguistc professor from USC over a ten year period. (In other words, the fact that Cameron dedicated ten years of his life to merely entertainment should be reason enough to go out and spend $10 on a ticket, let's be honest.) With half of the cast being animated through computer generated forms, the movie is complex, interesting, and will keep you on the edge of your seat.
My only issues with the film? The 3D did give me a headache by the end, in which I felt like I was the one in an avatar, and-SPOILER ALERT!- the sex scene between the two aliens made me queasy and had me asking myself many questions for the rest of the movie (even though some of their parts were human, were all of their parts human?). I guess everyone-or thing-needs a little bit of loving sometimes.
All and all, Avatar was a great flick and probably one of the best movies I've ever seen. Next to Clueless, that is.

Jersey Shore is BADA BING!

And I'm not just saying that because one of the show's biggest characatures, Pauly D, is from Johnston, RI (for those of you who don't know of this American gem, the hair spray is always out of stock at the local CVS and for those of you who didn't think baby Ed Hardy exits, think again). When I first moved to DC five years ago, I remember looking around American University's unattractive campus and thinking, "What's missing here?" After living in DC, I realized the status quo that I'd developed my entire life was entirely false and a breed of its own; the majority of dads didn't smoke cigars and moms didn't drop their 'R's every time they spoke, nor did any of my new girlfriends have rings or necklaces with their names in cursive written through them. The Jersey Shore confirms that the majority of America, and the rest of the world, for that matter, looks into this little world that I lived in my whole life through a magnifying glass for entertainment and comic relief. And you know what? I'm damn proud of it!
 This show is comical, killer, and all around A+ television that shouldn't be missed by any reality show afficionados. Bringing together eight self-professed guidos from New Jersey, New York, and Rhode Island, the guys are juiced up and the girls rock hoops, poofs, and some deadly extensions that I would never endorse even in my most guido state possible. The show captures the summer of these eight college-aged Italian Americans living in a beach house in Seaside Heights, New Jersey for three months. You'll get your fair share of bar brawls, too hot for TV sex moments, and, of course, a multitude of clips of the studs getting muscled up at the gym. More importantly, you'll have some new beauty standards to strive for after you see these girls in their deep Mystic tans and two-toned ripped jeans (BIG J to the K right there...but it's still fun to watch). But after watching so many reality shows with idiots that I have nothing in common with, why not waste my time watching idiots who at least exhibit a little bit of familiarity?
Haven't seen Jersey Shore yet? Get on YouTube right now and watch Jenni (of course she ends her name in an 'i') "Snooki"get punched in the face after drunkenly yelling expletives to a high school gym teacher at a bar. Or, Google all of the Italian American organizations trying to sue MTV right now for creating a show that's "defamatory" towards the Italian heritage (deal with it). Despite being just another white trash reality show, it seems like everyone has something to say about Jersey Shore. And it doesn't hurt that I love watching Ronnie's twelve pack on television every Thursday night.

Pingpong, Anyone?

Rather than eating lunch on break at Sushi-Go-Round in the Verizon Center on 7th Street as usual, my friends Sarah and Justin and I decided to be a little bit more innovative this afternoon and try one of DC's newest supposed "hot spots". I am very apprehensive when the Washingtonian, Glitterazzi, or whatever in between dubs a new DC locale as "trendy and sexy"; translation, it's usually either Eurotrash guys prowling on girls, using it as the pregame spot before their night at Ultrabar, or a thirty-something-Bluetooth-wearing-I'm-too-important-for-you crowd. When I heard that Pingpong's first opening in the United States would be brought to DC, I was excited but unsure how the Washingtonians would take it. Of course, anyone who's anyone thinks tapas platters are "just fabulous" and the coolest thing in the world (even though have of these idiots don't even know that Europeans have been eating this way for over a century), so we were all pretty sure that small plates would be appealing to the young professional crowd regardless of the format. But dimsum plates?! This might be a little too Eastern-minded for the Capitol Hill folk. Regardless, its international motto describing its cuisine as "steamed little parcels of deliciousness" is entirely and one-hundred percent true even within its newest franchise on 7th street that has only been opened officially for four days.
With a gorgeous black-on-black set up, open floor plan, and hipster-cool lounge music playing on repeat,  I felt like I was in a futuristic Chinese tea house. Taking on a thousand year old tradition, each entree ranges from $4 to $8, with three items in each. With fabulous cocktails that don't skimp on the booze (always important) and excellent non-alcoholic choices when you know the sangria will put you out when it's time to go back to work, Pingpong is fast, fun, and trendy. Even better, it is white-girl friendly; unlike most of my other Asian hotspots, I didn't have to chug a glass of milk with a hand full of Tums afterwards to prevent the heartburn that MSG and Siracha-infused dishes often give me (yet I continue eating, because they're that good). Plus, the social and relaxed atmosphere caters perfectly to the awkward first date spot; if he's a total doofus, you can just talk about all of the action going around you in the restaurant to save yourself from the awkward silences.
The good? With everything being numbered on the menu, make sure you indulge in #37 Traditional Sticky Rice Parcel, #57 Chicken Puff Pastries, and the ultimate, #209 Pork Buns, which will be the most delicious Asian pork buns you'll ever have in your mouth. For a huge, multiple course meal under $30 in a chic atmosphere, I'll definitely be back frequently.
The bad? If I'm looking a little thunder thigh-ish (I've already eaten there twice this week), you'll know why.

Visit Ping Pong at 900 7th Street, opened seven days a week and available for private events. 

And you thought Apple was Weird

Have you ever been bored at work or school and have started practicing your autograph, like, twenty five times in perfect cursive in a row? Maybe I'm just crazy, but I've been known to do this, but in a much stranger way; instead of just writing my autograph, I write the four names I've preselected for the two boys and two girls I'll have one day. Don't get any ideas- I'm not looking to be pregnant for at least another ten years, but when the time comes, there will be a great deal of Baby Juicy Couture sweat suits and mini Tims on my baby shower registry. With the hopes that no one will be stealing these gems, the four majestic names (which will be given regardless of the father's last name OR personal taste) are the following:

1. Amalia Catherine Love
2. Luther Winston Time
3. Felicity Anastasia Joie
4. Oliver Samuel Truth

When I tell people this, I usually get mocked at by others for my so-called "hippie dippie" choices and also for the fact that my sons will supposedly get beat up. But being as confident I am to tell people that leopard is my favorite color, I keep in mind the fact that these names ferosh, and more importantly, that celebrities have given their kids names ten times for rancid by the standard of the status-quo. Even though I would do whatever I wanted if I was famous (and currently am not famous and pretty much do whatever I want anyway), these celebs need to realize that their fame doesn't ensure a slot in Hollywood for their children (Rumer Willis, anyone? A for Effort, I guess). And because of that, they need to cool it with the jackass names, or else their kids will have issues in many aspects in life, from getting a job to getting a boo and getting everything in between. While some of them are out of the ordinary but still work out okay as being quirky and cute (think Heidi Klum's Johan, Gwen Stefani's Kingston, and Salma Hayek's Valentina), others are absolutely offensive and will land these poor kids with a complex by the time they reach fifth grade. Need a reminder? The following will make Luther Winston Time sound like John Smith the Pilgrim:

1. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: Cute I guess, and definitely a hot baby, but reminds me of this book I read about a dog in elementary school. And no girl wants people to think of a dog when they hear her name.
2. Sparrow Madden: WHY! I understand Joel Madden is supposed to be an emo rocker, and Nicole Richie likes to pretend she's some tree-hugger now, but the name Sparrow makes any guy seem inadequate. 
3. Kal-El Cage: Nicholas Cage's son, which is already problematic seeing as the child has a fifty-percent chance of resembling the not-so-studly actor. Plus, he's named after a super hero something, which is even sadder seeing how Nicholas Cage still has a fixation with comic books.
4. Apple Martin: I mean, at least it's a cute fruit. Imagine if she was Watermelon Martin; then she'd have no chance with anyone in life.
5. Ocean Whitiker: As the son of Forest Whitiker, it's okay to have a unique name. Like Forest; earthy, masculine, and mysterious. Ocean? Lucid, limp, and free-flowing. No bueno.
6. Blanket Jackson: Because any name that's not even appropriate to name your hamster should definitely not be given to your child.
7. Audio Science Sossaman: Not that anyone even knows who the actress Shannon Sossaman is. That's probably why she had to name her kid something that sounds like it's out of the Matrix.
8. Jermajesty Jackson: The crazies don't stop with Michael in the Jackson family; Jermaine puts his son before him, referring to his new born as Jermajesty... ewww.
9. Peaches Geldof: Why all the fruit with these names?
10. Phoenix Chi: Because Little Spice would have been better for Mel B's son- or is it a daughter? With a name like Phoenix Chi the only thing that I can identify is that the kid is going to by the head chief of their tribe one day. 
11. Jagger Lee: Come on, Pamela! I know you want your kid to be a sexpot badass, but your kid can't sound like a crackhead from the second he's out of your womb.
12. Zen Feldman: You're just trying wayyy too hard. Please, being "zen" or whatever was out over ten years ago. 
13. Bluebell Madonna Halliwell: Clearly all of the Spice Girls were high at the hospital. Ginger did even worse than scary, naming her child after a flower, but at least she gave homage to the Blessed Mother with the child's middle name. How nice.
14. Fuschia Tomelty: Sting's baby girl, and you know what color her room will be.
15. Diezel Ki Braxton: I think I know five dogs named Diesel, and if Toni Braxton thought this name might be a little too common, decided to throw a 'z' in there just to mix things up a little bit.

So there you have it. Next time you and your baby daddy think that it would be cool to name your kid after a fruit or your neighbor's dog, think again. But if you decide to be daring enough to name your kid something ridiculous, at least you know that there's plenty of fabulous and rich people with names that are even crazier. 

A Guido Girl's Guide to an H1N1-free Holiday Season

Even though Beckham is super sexy, restrain yourself; you might get H1N1!!

 As I lay in bed and watch Hoarders on A&E underneath the covers, I have an upset stomach and can smell the infected homes through my 8 by 10 flat screen television that I stole from my old room mate. More importantly, the show was a reality check to me regarding all of the yucky new meningitus-like diseases that have been brought about as winter approaches. As times change, so do the severity of flu symptoms and the rise of new diseases, but as a social girl who loves going out and causing a ruckus, it's extremely hard for me and all of my friends to be hypochondriacs and stay inside while another group of girls are probably out getting their own free bottle of Moet at The Park. It's impossible, miserable, and plebiante (aka poor) to live in a box and be afraid to have fun because you might wind up in bed for five days, but in reality, a week without an income because you're ill will but a huge damper on your budget and may cause you to be forced to skimp out on someone for Christmas because you  lived in a fantasy world. Let's face it people; The flu is back this year and is bigger and badder than ever. With a new, even more bad ass name that sounds like something out of a Star Wars triology, don't let H1N1 make you pooey this season. Instead, here are some great tips below that will keep you away from the flu while still maintaining your fabulosity:

• Take a multi vitamin every day. Trader Joe's makes a great one, and not only are they great cures to hangovers, but will boost up your body's immune system.
• Skip the face mask. Unless you're doing surgery or acrylic nails, you're only going to scare people around you if you wear one of those ugly things. Plus, you'll probably jinx yourself and end up with H1N1 if you act like such a retard.
• Drink three glasses of orange juice a day. Not only does it taste great, but you'll pee it all out by the end of the day and will be a super crazy immune booster.
• Keep a waterless soap in your car or purse so you can clean up constantly. From putting your hand on the escalator at the mall to fondling the next door neighbor, there are germs on everything that you can immediately shut out with this product. Just don't get the generic; get a pretty lavender blend from Bath & Bodyworks so that you don't smell like a chemist.
• EXERCISE: Your immune system will boost immediately and you'll also loose weight, what's better than that?
• Stop making out with random people. I know it's fun in the summer when you're down at your beach house, but it's not as promising when you're on the dance floor at McFaddens. Next time you're about to make out with a random, picture that special someone blowing his nose for an entire week straight the week before. Not sexy; and if you make out with him, you won't be, either.
• Stay away from family-style restaurants. I disapprove of these anyway even when it's not flu season, but those huge plates of linguini at Maggianno's are like petri dishes, not to mention terrible and unauthentic representations of Italian cuisine.

With these tips, there's no excuse so catch the flu this season. Be safe, be practical, drink your orange juice, and stay away from the rando's. 

State

I'm surprised myself to know that I'm actually blogging about a Rhode Island hotspot. But as most of you know, I do live beyond the means that my waitress salary provides and have allowed myself to party in some of the hottest spots from LAX in Vegas to Super Paradise in Mykonos. Aside from sipping on Moscato (my favorite drink in the world) and trying my hardest not to say anything stupid in front of all of the self important people I'm usually surronded by, I also take a very critical eye in analyzing what it is, exactly, that the night club is trying to achieve. Are they trying to be a hip-hop mecca? A pedofile's dream as an underage hotspot? A pseudo-exclusive members only arena (which, in most cases, if you've heard of it you really only need a permission slip for entry- sorry, PX)? Or a Louis DeVitto fist-pumper's paradise right off of the New Jersey Turnpike? In my opinion, the best types of places to go out are those that aren't actually trying to achieve anything at all. And, with that, the most beautiful and fabulous will always be present.
I'm not saying that you need to skip Miami for your next party vacation and go to Providence, instead, but if you are by chance stuck in the Ocean State for whatever reason, leave the blow-out boys behind at the District Lounge and hit up one of Providence's finest new venues; State. Located on Throopy Alley right off South Main Street and behind Olives, I always feel like I've stepped into a small lounge on Las Ramblas in Barcelona (Okay, a huge exaggeration. But it's still adorable). Don't be prepared for any Sweet Caroline drunk wailing at the end of the night, however; State only plays house music from the Ministry of Sound in the UK, which also supports the lounge's Euro-flavor. With delicious Bellinis and French 50 cocktails, you can also enjoy affordable bottle service without getting agita over the bill at the end of it all. Even more, they feature a Champaign Campagne every Decemeber, a special party featuring a tasting of France's finest champagne with house music spun by DJ Dupe and Nick de Paris. With a relaxed feel in a hidden location, State is a lovely, top ten spot that I recommend to anyone coming through Lil Rhody. And, yes, you'll still see a couple blow-outs.

My friend Vanessa and I ran into the Prince of Providence, Buddy Cianci, at State!!!

A Very Rhode Island Thanksgiving

I greatly apologize for my lack of blogging lately, however, I've flown to Rhode Island and have had a few issues that have contributed to this lag in updating because of my temporary location:

1. Because I knew I'd have to fit in during my time in the Ocean State, I immediately had acrylic nails applied so I would be up to par with the other La Salle Academy alums at Pearl Lounge on the night-before-Thanksgiving bash (which had a $20 cover- please, this is Providence, NOT the Bellagio). This makes typing quite the workout.
2. With the constant eating compliments of my Greek relatives, I've been in food coma during the hours of the day which I would normally blog and spent that time nursing my temporary foopa instead.
3. One of my favorite men in the world, Manny Francis, resides here and I spend a great deal of my time in the 401 chasing him and trying to entice him to hang out with me by dangling Portugese chourico in front of his face (okay, not literally. But I do threaten this often).
4. My mother's computer is from 1999 and the space key rarely works properly.

With that being said, I'm sorry that the Leopard has been inactive lately, however, I have thirty followers and am not Perez Hilton. Once I get funding from Google and other investors to get the ball rolling with this, I'll make Perez Hilton feel like he never should have even attempted blogging (Or not, but in my mind, yes).
But on a more comical note, Rhode Island never fails to offer a colorful Thanksgiving holiday with some of the most predictable characteristics that will always define your trip to the home state no matter where you're traveling in from. Haven't quite nailed what makes Rhode Island so unique for the Thanksgiving holiday? See if any of these suggestions align with any personal experiences:

• Before Thanksgiving occurs, your mother, aunt, or other female relative freaks out and does all of their banking, errands, etc. before because "oh-my-God-Citizens-Bank-and-Stop&Shop-will-be-closed-tomorra-what-ah-we-gonna-do?!?!?!".
• You know the night before you're going to see everyone and their mom dolled up in their finest Bebe and Arden B. attire at either Pearl, Monet, or the View and are going to give so many fake kisses that you'll be at risk for H1N1. You will also witness some sort of girlfight at any one of the following locations (and you better stay away from him, or else the girlfight will involve you).
• One turkey is not enough in Rhode Island, as eating is very important to all of us. No matter how many people at your Thanksgiving feast (Mine had 60, no joke), expect at the very least two to three turkeys. And because Rhode Islanders are so proud of their respective hertiges (which are usually only either Italian or Portugese), expect ethnic side dishes, from cacoila to lasagna.
• During dinner, a word will not get in edge wise by anyone. There will be lots of screaming and yelling, and the boozing won't help the situation too much, either. Hours later, a food coma will occur in which everyone becomes immediately quiet, except for that one male relative who decides to take out his accordian and play old Dean Martin standards while everyone is trying to digest (This is not a joke).
• Mothas everywhea will set their alarms at 3:30 a.m. so that they can make is to Wrenthem Outlets by 4. When you decide that you need adequate sleep and let others know you won't be at the Outlets until 9, you're looked at by others as if you're missing the opportunity to meet Jesus himself.
• All of the other mothas stay inside their homes all day, stating that they're "not goin anywhea out thea" because the one decent mall is the state might be a little crowded and, in their minds, will cause traffic all the way to Smithfield so they decide to sit at home all day like there's an Anthrax threat in the air.

Yes, this is a typical Thanksgiving in Rhode Island and I've been lucky enough to have experienced most of this already throughout the duration of my trip. Even though it's silly and so stereotypical, Rhode Island is home and will always have a red, white, and green place in my heart (Italian flag, for you stunads who don't know). But my new acrylic nails are making typing difficult, and I have to get in bed for some serious Black Friday action tomorrow. Make sure you set your alarms before all of the good Juicy Couture warm up suits are gone.

Paint the Town Leopard Party at Fly Lounge

A huge thank you to everyone who attended; with close to fifty guests who came by, Leopard readers got a chance to mingle with a great deal of DC's finest while sipping on Sky Vodka and fist pumping to DJ Chuck all night long. The hook-ups that went down? The numbers exchanged? The degenerates that threw up in the bathroom? What happens at Fly, stays at Fly...

An even bigger thank you to Ezra Quassim and Jamie Hess for making it happen (visit Jamie Hess online at http://www.jamiehess.com/. He's a fabalous event planner and pretty cute, too).

Some highlights of the night (and me looking a little preggers in the first shot, I might add)

Be First-Lady Sexy

I was never a huge fan of Michelle Obama despite being the hardcore Democrat that I am. Although I cried tears of joy the day that Barack Obama won the election (alongside the crowd of 1500+ at The Park at 14th dancing to "My President is Black" shortly after), for some reason I just got a poor energy from Michelle. Maybe it was when she rejected Cindy McCain's handshake after the town hall-style debate during the campaign period, or the fact that I read somewhere that she makes poor Malia and Sascha set their own alarms to wake up in the morning (they're, like, 6, for Christ sake! I'm nearly 23 and when I'm home, my mom still gets my ass out of bed). Plus, even though every magazine raves over her bicepts, they look like they could take out a UFC champ, which, no, is not a compliment.
But this evening while working at the sushi restaurant, I was given quite a treat when I was able to see Mrs. Obama up close and personal after a long and actually pleasant (two of them were super hot) visit from the Secret Service. Not to profile, but after the pronoun "she" continued to be used in describing the anonymous VIP guest and a small group of Jimmy Choo-wearing African American women in their mid-forties showed up to be sat at this guest's table, I knew I'd get to see the most powerful woman in the world. Although she wasn't exactly all smiles when she entered the restaurant, she was chic, elegant, had fabulous hair, and most importantly, tipped extremely well ($200 on a $350 tab? Not bad at all!). I never got to meet her directly, but I did get to stand a foot near her and track her every mood and see everything that she was ordering. Pretty stalkerish, yes; But I now know what it takes to be first-lady sexy.

• Order a dirty martini- but don't finish the second: The First Lady is in too great of shape to drink sugary crap. Copy the First Lady and be skinny, but don't finish the second drink and get too drunk.
• Wear sexy, knee high boots: Michelle rocked hers with a pair of skinny jeans, and looked age appropriate and fabulous.
• Go out with only your most beautiful friends: Let's be honest; she only surrounded herself by beautiful people who looked as fabulous as she is.
• Skip the carbs: Michelle didn't order anything with carbohydrates, and ate around the rice in all of her sushi.
• Ask your server about his/her life: She was nice enough to ask her server about his holiday plans, which thank God I wasn't their server, or else I probably would have invited her for Christmas Eve at my house in Lincoln, Rhode Island like an idiot.
• Keep a low profile: Michelle didn't ask for crazy VIP treatment or a special seat in the restaurant; she knows she's amazing already and doesn't need to pull any shenanigans (except for the ridiculous amount of secret service, of course).

Despite my apprehensions, First Lady Michelle Obama was gorgeous, classy, and didn't act like a diva-esque celebrity. I recommend anyone meeting her who has the opportunity, since I would have probably lost my job if I'd done something stupid like went up to her which I probably would have done had I not been working. Oh well, looks like I'll always be starstruck...

Even Posh Spice has Bad Skin

I'm not talking badly about Victoria or anything. I copied her hair cut three years ago! But trust me, if anyone has the right to say that, it's definitely me; since age twelve my face looked like an unsightly Pro-Active before shot. It was unsexy, disgusting, and in order to not get even more depressed about it, only made me want to see myself in certain mirrors in which the lightening was really dim. By the time I reached fourteen years old, I did what many unfortunate middle school girls continue to do, and caked on ridiculous amounts of MAC Studio Fix foundation that made me look like I was a walking corpse (only with a lot of acne underneath that, yes, you could still see). The daily face makeup routine didn't help the solar system on my face and it only got worse when I started going to the dermatologist. Not to sound like my Papou or anything (translation: grandfather in Greek, for all of you who live in a bubble), but I'm still a believer after my poor experiences with several dermotologists that close to ninety percent of them are scam artists. Don't get me wrong; they've saved the lives of many melanoma and skin disorder patients and are probably a whole lot smarter then I'll ever be. However, not to sound like an old man Republican or anything, but it's all about the money, and a dermatologist's office is just like a business; they want to keep you coming back and having to deal with the specialist co-pays. Every single time I made it to a new doctor, I'd try a new salycic acid wash or a new peel or solution, only to end up with some weird reaction or new area of breakout on my face that would land me right back in the doctor's chair where I started. After dealing with so many different products throughout high school, I said peace out to the dermatologist and took hold of my skin on my own, experimenting with different products and procedures. Thankfully, I eventually grew out of wearing foundation every day, and with that, the severity of my acne. Even though I wasn't a pizza face anymore, I still broke out now and then and continue to deal with my skin being more sensitive then a teenage girl. But due to this unfortunate experience, I now have accumulated a perfect and very valuable list of effective skin products and procedures. Because even if you don't really care about a zit here or there, you have to remember that this is you're face, the first thing that people notice when they look at you (or you're back, neck, chest, errr...wherever else you get acne and I don't want to know about and/or discuss). Take care of it with the following and you'll be gladly rewarded with good-looking dates and a less expensive cosmetic regimen:

• Pro-Active Solution: The ultimate mother ship of acne products. I'll die in Pro-Active repairing lotion. For moderate acne problems, pro-active works great. Start using the whole three step system, but the trick is to use what works for you best (some people just use the cleanser, some just the cleanser and toner, etc). Plus, they'll refund you if it does nothing.
• Agua: Meaning water en espanol. DRINK LOTS OF THIS!!! You will notice a dramatic different in your skin if you start downing eight glasses a day as suggested by every commericial on television.
• Peter Thomas Roth Face Wash: An outstanding skin product for guys and girls. It's oil free and contains salycic acid but still moisturizes. I used to steal this stuff from my friend John Bierle in college all the time until I realized you could get it at Sephora.
• Differin Gel: Another product I used to steal from friends, but this time the friend being my room mate at the time and one of my best girlfriends in the world Noor Multani. Although this stuff is hard to come by, seeing as a perscription is needed and all, it only takes a very small application to be effective and is great at getting rid of that one under-the-skin mark over night. Plus, it's not too drying and won't make your face flakey like other perscriptions.
• Microdermabrasion: The savior of my skin. Usually performed by either an esthitician or dermatologist, microdermabrasion is a technique that literally sandblasts your skin to give you a fresh start with it afterwards. Although expensive (it can run you close to $150 a session), this technique is nearly a guarentee, but the trick is to make sure that you complete the recommended series of sessions. Plus, you get a facial after each session so you get to feel rich afterwards (and in my case, broke).
• White Toothpaste: A trick that every pageant girl knows. Have a tasty one that won't go away? Dab a drop of white toothpaste on the center of your blemish before you go to sleep and wake up the next morning with it barely there. Make sure you use only white toothpaste (Arm & Hammer and Gleem work the best).
• Tanning: I know that your doctor, dermatologist, and Seventeen magazine have probably told you that this is a myth, but go try it out for yourself and realize its not. Although I'm sure I'm going to have to end up getting Botox by the time I'm thirty for doing this so many times, going to the tanning salon will burn off those bad pimples and give you a fresh start. Plus, you'll have a new and exotic color that will make you appear as though you were somewhere expensive on vacation. 

 I may not be the next Rodan & Fields, but I do know a thing or two about skin care. So drink your water and Pro-Activate this week, and even though the commercial says otherwise, no, you cannot sleep in your Bare Minerals powder...

Save the Date! 11/20/09

YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS IT! In exactly one week, one of Paint the Town Leopard's favorite night spots, Fly Lounge, will be hosting an exclusive event as the official launch party of the blog. DJ Vishal will be spinning the best in hip-hop and house (with plenty of tracks that will make you "oh-my-gawd-I-love-this-song" which better include Gaga's new "Bad Romance" and anything by Jay-Z) and bottles will be popping. Plus, it's a perfect excuse to check out one of the hottest lounges in DC if you haven't already done so. Just make sure you let the door know that you are with "Paint the Town Leopard" and you will be taken care of.

Still skeptical? Here are a few reasons as to why your attendance is not even a question:

1. It's the perfect opportunity to meet plenty of other fabulous leopards and maybe even your next significant other. 
2. You will brush shoulders with many DC socialites, including Jamie Hess, Matt Sklar, and Andrew Stover (sommelier to the stars, if you don't remember).
3. A plethora of alcohol will be at your disposal. And I'm not talking Andre.
4. On Saturday, you'll be able to tell everyone that you were at a star-studded, fabulous event the night before (or at least in my mind).

In other words, your presence is kindly requested this Friday at Fly Lounge- mark your Blackberries, iPhones, whatever. And, of course, animal print attire is heavily suggested and encouraged. 

Get in a Food Fight

Almost every weekend in the city, it's a given that you'll always find your standard charity event at an embassy or the Four Seasons in Georgetown. If you're willing to splurge on an expensive ticket that could cost you up to a thousand dollars, you'll be lucky enough to surround yourself with the following; fabulous people who are subpar in the wardrobe department (it is DC), the opportunity to be photographed and to find yourself in next month's Who's Who column in the Washingtonien, but most importantly, great cuisine that will give you the biggest food baby in your mock designer gown. Yesterday was absolutely no exception to the rule, either. If you were willing to shell out $150 to support DC's Central Kitchen to fight hunger in the city, than you too would have been able to attend the 2009 Capital Food Fight, sponsored by renowned DC-based chef Jose Andres. Described as "the creme de la creme of foodie events", the Food Fight showcases an Iron Chef-esque competition featuring the head chefs from many top restaurants in DC, including Barton Seavor of Hooked & Tacklebox, Michael Mina of Aureaole, Mike Isabella of Zaytinya (and of Top Chef, as a local DC reality celebrity, I might add), Tracy O'Grady of Willow, and Bryan Voltaggio of VOLT. Each chef was given a series of obscure ingredients and a limited time frame to create the tastiest, aesthetically pleasing, and creative dish upon being judged afterwards.
Aside from the Iron Chef competition, guests could roam the main floor of the event to try samplings from dozens of other popular restaurants throughout the city. Plus, many even had the opportunity to brush shoulders with Food Network celebrities, including bitchy Carla Hall from Top Chef (who would probably scare me in person, seeing as every time she chopped meat on the show it looked like she was decapitating limbs) and Eric Ripert from Ace of Cakes (who I really wanted to meet, since I could tell him about the Alice & Wonderland cake that I wanted for him to replicate for my wedding in six years). Regardless, you would have needed to be willing to try some very exotic flavors, including sashimi-style salmon seared in espresso topped with vanilla foam (I probably would have made a jerk out of myself if I was there, in other words). Even more, there were excellent live auctions taking place throughout the evening along with great foodie-oriented goodie bags so that you could take the event back to your very own living room.
Of course, the title was a little bit misleading. I expected to see guacamole and splatter all over the faces of DC socialites and politicians, which to my dismay, did not happen.

Wanna check out the Fight next year? Check them out online at www.capitolfoodfight.com.

Liquid Wasabi

I always enjoy a good cocktail. If I'm craving dessert and worked out really hard that day (or even if I didn't) then a lemon drop martini will do the trick. If I'm feeling like looking rich, I'll take a glass of cava mixed with St. Germain. Or, if I feel like getting the job done really quick or am about to hang out with a socially awkward guy for the first time by force, I'll take a Ciroc dirty martini (yes, Ciroc...I worked at The Park for almost two years). But there's never a time sitting at the bar that I'd actually reject the best drink by far that DC has to offer; the Liquid Wasabi.
Yes, it sounds pretty rancid from the onset; who really wants to drink a cocktail whose name resembles a fluid form of Japanese chili paste? But in actuality, the drink is a unique combination of unfiltered sake (Snow Beauty Nigori, to be specific), lime juice, habanero and simple syrup, with no wasabi in the recipe at all. The syrup lends itself to having a sweetness with the habanero giving the drink an unexpected punch at the end, similar to the kind that comes from a Fireball candy or a Hot Tamale. Plus, the ten dollar price tag gives it an elitist edge that makes you feel just a little bit special for sipping on one.
There's no other drink in the DC area quite like it, and very few things on the Leopard that I endorse, but  I could have an IV of this drink for the rest of my life and feel okay about it. That's why it is more than imperative that the rest of the city finds out how delicious this drink is- and you can make this happen by doing the following:

1. Going into Sei Restaurant & Lounge at 444 7th Street NW, asking for one of the studly bartenders Marc or Diego, trying it for yourself, and then spreading the word to all of your friends OR
2. Or, you can vote for the Liquid Wasabi on Metromix by clicking here: http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=best+drink+dc+metromix&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8. Because honestly, how are those other boring drinks even a LITTLE bit competitive?

Who can deny enjoying a drink that's not even that sweet but still tastes like candy? Feel like a baller at Sei and enjoy a Liquid Wasabi. Or 3. Or 4.

How to Loose a Girl in Ten Days

Let's face it; We've all seen the movie. Adorable Kate Hudson tries to escape from Matthew McConaughey through a series of antics, eventually falling in love with him while simultaneously making every girl across the country want to wear her yellow gown for prom (you know what I'm talking about...Jessica McClintok, anyone?). It's a fun concept and a great fantasy to have when you're living vicariously through the character and pretending like you're trying to brush off someone as hot as McConaughey in real life (who the right mind who would honestly do that?), but as a young twenty-something in a big city exposed to many different people every day, can assure you that I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly when it's come to guys. Yes, girls are crazy and I'm the first one to confirm that; we stare at the phone every two seconds waiting for that text message, freak out when you forget to call us back, and go complete ape shit at the club after a couple of cocktails even when you're just saying 'hi' to a girl in passing (not that this has ever been me, of course...). I can also confirm, on the other hand, that guys are stupid and have many vices of there own. More often then not, they loose a girl over some stupidity that they overlooked and that could have very easily been controlled. Below, I've listed some significant deal breakers that every girl could agree with and that every guy could utilize for a little bit of advice- And, trust me, it doesn't matter if you're as hot as Matthew McConaughey. Here's how every guy can loose a girl in ten days, and in most circumstances, even less time than that:

• Not saying hi to my parents: It sounds so simple, but so often, guys don't showcase the proper enthusiasm needed with parents. I'm not forcing you to make my mom you're new best friend, but at least fake it a little bit when you see her.
• Eating Subway/Quiznos/Chipotle/Etc. in front of me: Maybe it's crazy and just a personal quirk, but this stuff is the devil in my book. Eat it when you're with your dudes, not right before it's time to make out.
• Smoke inside of your house: Or not smoke at all, but I know everyone has their vices, and I'm not one to judge that. Just don't smoke inside of your house; my clothes will always smell like Newports, which is not sexy, and my allergies are already at a level five and your smokey home will not do them any better.
• Halitosis: Enough said. Get some dental insurance and take care of it!
• Ball Caps with Sports Teams: Unless you're my brother, no guy can pull this off. Tell me who your favorite team is over a Blue Moon at Old Glory, not by ruining a perfectly good outfit on a night of us going out together.
• Telling me you severely harmed/were violent towards/murdered someone: I can't deal with knowing your deep secrets, and especially nothing of this sort. Go tell Father Ed at Confession, instead. Also, I don't want you to have a relapse on me.
• Having a third nipple: Because even if you're the nicest guy in the world, this will cause our relationship to not go beyond a friendship.
• Overt Sweating: Do you always look like you've just been pushed into a swimming pool even if you're just sitting down at dinner? No bueno.
• Getting pulled over for a DUI....with me in the car....and then fighting the cops: I don't want to be on Cops, High Speed Chases, or any other white trash tv shows. Sorry.

It may seem harsh, but this list probably exhibits everything that girls out there want to mention but can't. It's hard being a guy, and I understand that girls are critical and crazy, but understand that you now have an inside look regarding what NOT to do in order to keep you're girl in the picture. Of course, no one's perfect on either end, but what's worse than a third nipple? Or a murderer?

Watch Miss Black America Get Crowned!

Please support Kamilla Collier by voting for her on the CW's People's Choice page for Miss Black America by clicking here: Miss Black America Picture Contest - WDCW. It only takes two seconds and is very necessary.

Salud, DC!

Coming from Rhode Island (AKA the state where you can get canolees off of the Haven Brothers truck at 3 a.m., ride in a gondola through the Providence River, and be stuck in a traffic jam on Federal Hill and hear Andrea Bocelli blasting out of any of the used luxury cars on either side of you even if the drivers appear under 30), it's been very hard to find good Italian eateries in the District, a city that prides itself on its unique array of ethnic cuisine readily available. True, I have a huge quirk in not eating pasta, but still enjoy a salmon Picatta or a piece of meat batter in rich Marsala sauce. After graduating from high school and taking for granted restaurants like Angelo's, Cappriccio's, and Venda Ravioli my entire life (and you can't forget all the birthday parties I attended in elementary school at, where else, but the Spaghetti Warehouse), I came to DC and realized that good Italian really was hard to come by. Even outside of the fine dining area, there are simply no St. Mary's Feasts or Casserinos where I could get some good pastry or excellent Italian sausage. I searched long and hard, but despite all of the tacky eateries I visited with pictures of Tony Soprano on the wall, eventually found a few that managed to have an authentic menu with a waitstaff who knew that 'gabagool' was guido slang for 'capicola'. Enough said.

The following restaurants in the DC area are Rhode Island-father approved. Next time he has to go down to the District to visit his daughter in school at George Washington (probably the only college in the area that actually has an Italian population in its student body, weird, I know), he'll be able to feel at home without getting agita over eating canned Marinara:

• Filomena Ristorante (1063 Wisconsin Ave): This spot, which happens to be right in my back yard,  offers traditional fare in a setting that would resemble any Nana's dining room. The doilies, lace, and hard wood have greeted many prominent visitors including all four of the past presidents. If you're a pasta lover, go for it; the gnocchi is hand made on site. But beware of the portions; Nana puts enough in every plate that Paulie Walnuts could barely finish it. 
• D'Acqua (801 Pennsylvania Ave): Situated close to the Capitol, D'Acqua features excellent Italian fare from the sea, with a very creative fruitti di mare dish. The decor is formal without being too stuffy, but make sure you have a date take you here; this is not Red Lobster and this fish is going to cost you. 
• Paparazzi (1066 Wisconsin Ave): Although I feel disloyal to its original location (or at least in my mind) in Rhode Island's upscale Garden City, Paparazzi continues to execute consistency in all of its dishes despite being a franchise. Using foccaccia that's made on the house and showcasing an eclectic wine list, it's not so sad after all that Paparazzi is one of DC's best Italian spots. Just don't tell the staff at Garden City that this one is better. 
• Carmello's & Little Portugal (9108 Center Street, Manassas, VA): The perfect combination of Rhode Island under one roof. Set in a fine dining setting with reasonable prices, you'll get to try the perfect combination of everything you were raised on. Despite having probably the best chourico I've had in the DC area, you've got to try the Paelha Valenciana, a traditional Portuguese paella, features an array of unforgettable spices and seafood still holding at a reasonable price. Plus, I love Portuguese men (one in particular) and it reminds me of them.
• Cafe Milano (3251 Prospect Street): The ultimate yuppie Italian spot located in the heart of Georgetown; be prepared to dress your best and bring your wallet. Hosting Vice President Joe Biden's inauguration party in January, Milano has hosted some of the District's most prominent individuals (such as myself) from casual lunch affairs to gaudy receptions. Get ready for legitimate, quality food and excellent service- but for a price. 
• Tosca (1112 F Street): The hip, trendy Italian spot. With a $35 dollar pre-fix, the young professionals of DC who still want to live fabulously can do so at Tosca without sacrificing a great deal. Pasta is house made daily and ridiculously delicious tasting menus are available, as well. It doesn't hurt that many good looking people hang out here, either. 

While nothing will ever beat Capriccio's in downtown Providence in my mind, DC does offer some stellar competition that will have you mangia-ing until you have to unbutton your pants. So next time you want to cheers to good food, say salud instead; put on your cutest animal print ensemble and attend one of these excellent Italian eateries that the District has to offer. 

Velvet Lounge

I've always had this huge fascination with the hipster scene. The funky Ray Bans, the boxy-cut tops, the neon and the scarves; Even though I would never wear half of it, I feel like I've always had this alter-ego who wants to trade in my Volkswagon for a used Saab or Volvo. Unfortunately, I like shiny things, hoop earrings and cleavage way too much to convert myself over to a more Urban Outfitter look, but I'll always have one of those mornings where I wake up and put on a graphic t-shirt, bomber jacket, and leggings. Even though I'll probably never give up my obsession with night clubs, house music, and Louis Vuitton (not that I can afford it, but if I was Kimora Lee Simmons, I'd probably buy everything monogrammed in LV's, too), I recently decided that it was time to diversify my nightlife experiences to venues beyond Lima and Fly. Accompanied by two of my most fabulous and attractive friends, I blew off my normal Wednesday night routine of harassing every Persian man at Lima I could find and instead ventured to U Street with Reagan and Guil for a night of fun that would also satisfy my necessary hipster craving for the night.
After going to Nellys, which was cute (but not really me), we headed across the street to a little bar with Coke-bottle lightening and some of the most artistically dressed people I have seen in a while (no, I'm not talking about Commander Salamander or Urban Outfitter ensembles; these people were rocking classy vintage and pret-a-porter-no-name-necessary looks). Although I walked in wearing five inch heels and diamond studded-hoop earrings, I was immediately greeted by a friendly bar staff and Killers songs set to house tracks. This place reminded me of a small lounge in the Marais of Paris; velvet seating to match its namesake and alcohol pours in every drink that were competitive in comparison to its U Street neighbors. What was best about this place is that it was simple, inexpensive, adorable, and had no disgusting men approaching my friends and eye.
Ignore the poor reviews on Yelp.com; the reviewers obviously have no idea what they're talking about and are jealous of Velvet's organic feel. Instead, go for yourself and enjoy funk music, local bands, and $5 rail drinks before you decide to formulate a negative opinion. For all of the political junkies out there, Velvet serves as an excellent venue for showcasing different grass-root liberal organizations throughout the city (translation: lots of hipsters). They're very open to hosting new organizations and local DC businesses that align with what they stand for. Skip the club and try something different next weekend.
The only downside? Get a tetanus shot before you use the bathroom, or risk getting a public urination citation on U Street. I had to breath through my mouth the entire time I used their ladies' room and it was anything but pleasant. I guess that's what you get with $5.00 drinks. And personally, I'd take a $5.00 drink and risk holding it and winding up with a UTI any day.

Look Fierce This Halloween

And I don't mean in one of those ridiculous Legs Avenue getups. Sure, everyone girl wants to look sexy on Halloween night and unleash her wild side, but don't YOU want to be remembered for having the most double-takes of the night for your delicious originality (Plus, what are you going to do with your polyester-imitation dress sixty dollars later after you've have kamikazes spilled all over it all night?). Halloween's just around the corner, boys and girls. It's time to buck up and get serious about your costume before you find yourself in for a real scare when you arrive at Commander Salamander two nights before All Hallow's Eve and realize that you're only option for the night is a banana suit. Because of my full work schedule, I will only be celebrating Halloween on the actual holiday itself this year, in which myself and others will be dressing up as six different characters from Alice in Wonderland (Guess who's Alice?). But, if I had the opportunity (and the social status) to attend parties and galas all week in celebration of the holiday, I'd be sure to have several creative looks lined up so I could ring in Halloween with a bang (and a boo). Still procrastinating and don't want to end up as a banana? Here are some of the best costumes that I found for Halloween this year that I would wear if my other friends hadn't already bought their Mad Hatter and Queen of Hearts to escort Alice through the Nightmare of M Street. Because all of my leopards need to look amazing this year.

• Poison Ivy: One of my favorite DC socialite Maria Chaconas turned heads last year in her take of this classic Batman villain. Want to get creative? Buy a green leotard from American Apparel, get on the eliptical this week and cut the Cheetos so your legs look okay, get a sexy red wig, and head over to Michael's Craft Store and string your body with faux-ivy. You'll look sexy and fun, unless you're an idiot and buy a wig that's a rancid fire engine-red color.
• Lady Gaga: Okay, okay. We all know it's going to be a little bit over done this year. Regardless, it's an easy and fun way for you to be beautiful/dirty/rich for the night.  Get a black leotard, the highest boots you can find, some black Ray Bans, and a blonde wig with bangs. Paint a lightening bolt on your cheek and get bonus if you bring Kermit the Frog as your date.
• Sunny-Side Up Egg: Gwen Stefani could wear poop and still look amazing. Well, she got pretty close and decided to wear a sunny-side up egg costume for Halloween last year, remembering not to exclude the glamour makeup and an adorable braided head band, the egg will definitely be eye popping. Plus, you can keep eating all week and won't have to worry about looking chubby in a slinky costume. 
• Pilgrim or Indian: Excuse me, Native American. But be one step ahead of the game, because you know in twenty four hours the cornucopias and turkey napkins will be hitting the shelves. Plus, you'll shock everyone when they expect you to show up as a sexpot but instead you'll look like a Massachusetts Purtian.
• "Single Ladies" Beyonce: Showoff Beyonce's most memorable and booty-licious look of the year with a black leotard, some pumps, an afro-wig, and the biggest hoop earrings that you can find (which you better have purchased already if you're an avid reader). And you never know, if you look hot enough in the leotard you may just find someone to  
• King Kong & Jane: Want to do a couples costume but are you the better looking member of the couple? Get a blonde Farrah-Fawcett-esque wig and make your man put on a full monkey suit. That way, you'll still look hot and his below par looks will not take away from you on the special holiday. 
• Breathalizer: One of my friends in college Max Spector dressed up in one of these ensembles a couple years ago and I still want to see someone pull it off again. It's a twenty five dollar costume and it's so cheapy looking that by the end of the night when it's time to breathalize yourself, you won't even feel guilty about getting it messy. 

There's officially no excuse no excuse to wear something stupid this year for Halloween. I'm looking forward to seeing an array of sunny-side up eggs and guys sweating underneath gorilla suits on M street this Saturday. 

Andrew Stover IS Chief Vino

I could just never get into the wine thing. I tried watching Sideways, but got nausea from the Paul Giamatti sex scenes and had to turn it off. I tried going wine tasting in Temecula Valley during my last visit to San Diego, but drank rather than tasted and ended up alone and asleep in the car by the third vineyard. I even tried pretending that I knew something about wine when the man I was dating at the time asked me to bring him over a full-body white and I spent $38 dollars on the Pinot Grigio with the prettiest bottle (translation: lots of gold and embellishments). Needless to stay, we stopped dating shortly after. It wasn't until I found someone as in love with wine as I am with leopard print that I knew I would give the world of vino one last shot. 

Michigan-native Andrew Stover IS the Chief Vino. And that's not just in reference to his fabulous blog that receives over five hundred hits a day. No, one of DC's top sommeliers Andrew Stover turned a personal obsession into a full blown career through his charisma, richesse attitude and ability to articulate wine-speak for the plebes like me who, before meeting Andrew, couldn't tell the difference between a Pinot Noir and a Pinot Grigio (I just asked for whatever I wanted by identifying a color...classy). After beginning work at Breaux Vineyards over seven years ago, the obsession began to manifest to such a great degree that he now has over 500 bottles of wine in his apartment at any given moment. He now works as the head sommelier at Oya (9th and H Street NW) and Sei (444 7th Street NW) and also hosts various wine seminars throughout the city. Andrew, who holds a sommelier diploma from the International Sommelier Guild and a Certified Specialist of Wine Certification (that's big stuff right there) continues to hold VIP status in the wine world and has been invited to private tastings all over the world, ranging from countries like Argentina and Brazil to Italy and the UK. 

This past month, Andrew Stover's love for wine expanded even further, as he developed his own line of delicate, zesty fusion wines titled Vino50. The collection will showcase an influence of flavor profiles from all 50 states in the union and will be sold at various wine events throughout the city. The Vino50 Syrah remains the most popular at the moment (and Mr. Stover's favorite).

Andrew enjoys wines suitable for a variety of different palates. Below, I've listed some of Andrew's favorite wines, along with the type of individual that may be pre-gaming with it before their next big night out on the town:

• Merkin 2006 Chupacabra Red: For the type of guy who likes loafers, wind-breakers, comb-overs, but still appreciates the finer things in life. After downing the Chupacabra, he'll probably end up at Third Edition afterwards looking for his dream date who will probably be donned in Lily Pulitzer (vom). It doesn't help the situation that the lead singer of Tool helped to produce this wine, either. 
• 2007 Kinkade Ridge Viognier: For the beautiful brunette dressed from head to toe in Zara and French Connection who will leave her table every fifteen minutes for a cigarette break. She's classy, bourgeois, and loves complexity and spontaneity in her life. Catch her at Lima and then L2 for after hours (because the Viognier girl needs an after hours).
• Due Torri Pinot Noir 2007: For the power woman lobbyist who needs to relax during happy hour after a long day in the male-dominated political world. She wears a pressed, expensive interview suit and only has one glass (but it still does the trick).
• 2008 Bon Bon Shiraz Rose: For the idiot dude trying to impress his girlfriend on a date because of the adorable bottle it's presented in. It's a very decent wine and definitely a cute bottle for a group of girlfriends to indulge, but if HE orders this, she should run. Fast. 
• 2008 Left Foot Charlie Riesling: For the blonde girl who is the life of the party and fabulous. She's probably Greek or Italian and after indulging in this bottle with a group of girlfriends donned in Sky tops, will make her way to either Fly or Currents. She looks great in leopard print and when it comes to wine, the sweeter is always the better. 

Even though I used to think that wine gave me a headache, after meeting Andrew Stover, it never tasted so good. Now if I could only make it through a wine tasting...

Andrew Stover can be visited online at his site, Chief Wino, located at www.chiefwino.com. You'll find tips on wine handling and storage, along with information on tons of great wine events throughout the city. Cheers!

Recession-Proof DC

Even though most of us are still going out, partying, traveling, and spending way out of our means (most of us meaning myself), the broken record of the poor economy continues to raise our stress levels- apparently in the third most expensive city in the nation. Evictions are becoming as commonplace as a pizza delivery and layoffs continue from companies that guarenteed job security in the past. It’s safe to say that unless you’re Jay-Z in the flesh, you too could end up on Craig’s List trying to work some stupid talent gig to pay for your rent (Red Bull girls, anyone?). Because times are so tough, especially for recent college graduates much like myself, I’ve compiled a list of DC locales that not only seem to be recession proof, but very lucrative despite the tough times:

• Parking Enforcer for the DC Department of Motor Vehicles: With the amount of parking tickets I receive in a single week alone, I can assure you a salary much more consistent , exciting, and of higher pay than that boring secretarial 9 to 5 you would have been forced to take. Plus, it’s been rumored that many DC socialites will pay the parking enforcers the big bucks to avoid bootage. 
  
• Line Cook at Ben’s Chilli Bowl: Despite the fact that a boy took me on a date here once (and obviously never took me on a date again after due to my physical aftermath after the meal) and I had a miserable time, if Obama eats there it must be alright. Claiming themselves as having the best chilli dogs in the nation’s capitol, the line’s always out the door, you might get featured in Wale’s next video, and you’ll have a lifetime supply of free chilli...what’s better then that?
  
• Exotic Dancer at Camelots: Feautring “Washington’s most beautiful show girls” according to their official website, you’ll be given the company of some of DC’s most pretigious men looking for a night of entertainment. And with strict adult entertainment laws in DC, you won’t even have to touch any of them! It will be an incentive to stay in shape, and you’ll even get free breakfast when you decide to work the Legs and Eggs shifts. 
  
• Taxi Driver for Diamond Cab Company: Their cabs are always late due to a constant influx of phone calls and requests for rides. You’ll be able to sit down in a cushy yellow Lincoln Continental all day (translation: my father’s dream), make new friends, and take the longest route possible when you think your custumors are either drunk or from out of town. Not a bad life. 
  
• Tour Guide at the National Museum of Crime & Punishment: Apparently people care more about how the electric chair works then they do about paying their car payments, because every day when I go into work I see a line wrapped around 7th and F to get into this museum. I’m sure it’s great, but with all of the free museums in DC, I’d rather see history before my eyes at a Smithsonian for free then learn about the torture methods of Helter Skelter. 
  

So, please don’t go on Monster or Indeed or Craig’s List or any of those job search websites tonight. Instead, I think that you should give one of the five DC recession-proof jobs a try. And then give me a 20% headhunter fee after you accumulate your first few regulars at Camelot’s.